ANIMA SOLA
by Jen1978
Summary: Fear not that thy life shall come to an end,But rather fear that it shall never have a begining H.James.The conclusion of PACES and STIGMATA.Slash.Rey,Edge,Batista,Lashley,Undertaker,Benoit and others
1. pROlogUe

**SYNOPSIS**

As promised, this is the last installment of my saga. For those who haven't read the two previous ones (and are too bored or too scared to read them) this is what has happened so far.

In PACES, by some strange twist of fate, the abandoned by his family Rey Mysterio and Adam (Edge) are brought together to a night of desperate love making. Their time together is too limited. They are violently separated by Adam's father, Jacob Mandeson. He (with the help of three other guys, Jason, Anderson and Henry) kidnap, torture and rape Rey in order to lure Adam to his insane trap and reunite him with his deranged father. The police manage to find them but not before the gang does some serious damage. Jacob and Jason drop dead by gunfire but Henry escapes with Anderson. Rey barely survives. After spending many nights fighting for his life in the hospital, he wakes up and tells Adam how he really feels. Adam realizes how they share the same feelings and how one cannot live without the other. It is during their love making that their souls touch and become one whole.

In STIGMATA however, the story changes its tone. It picks up a while later with Rey and the Smackdown roster going to London for some promotional tapings. There Rey gets possessed by a powerful demon called Asmodai. Asmodai using the black speech of hell puts a spell on Dave Batista and forces him to stab Rey putting him once again in the hospital. There, still possessed, he tries to kill Eddie. Eddie, Chris Benoit and Mark Callaway (Undertaker) have no choice but to bring Adam in and perform the exorcism. It nearly goes awry when Eddie opens his eyes and looks in the eyes of the demon, but in the end it is only Adam's strength and love that succeeds in chasing the demon back to hell. Mark later explains that their souls are two halves of one and the demon could not destroy Adam without killing the soul he was after. The story ends with Mark giving a pendant to Rey, a silver one that causes him extreme pain but one that helps keep evil away. Only Adam's touch can soothe the mind splitting pain. In the end Rey forgives Batista for the stabbing and they are free at last; free from the pain, free from the suffering and free from the darkness that lurks in their shadows and their dreams.

Or so they think…

This story begins a little while later. Eddie Guerrero is dead (R.I.P. Eddie-Heaven needed a lowrider… we will all miss you terribly. We will see you again one day), Chris Benoit has taken some time off, Mark Callaway hasn't appeared yet and Adam is still on Raw.

**WARNING: This is slash story. It contains graphic sex between people of the same gender, voluntary and involuntary. It also contains extreme violence, serious angst, psychological trauma, suicide and death of a major character.**

As always, I do not own any of their characters.

All ideas, opinions, questions and suggestions are welcome.

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Where do I take this pain of mine  
I run, but it stays right my side

So tear me open, pour me out  
There's things inside that scream and shout  
And the pain still hates me  
So hold me, until it sleeps

Just like the curse, just like the stray  
You feed it once, and now it stays  
Now it stays

So tear me open, but beware  
There's things inside without a care  
And the dirt still stains me  
So wash me, until I'm clean

It grips you, so hold me  
It stains you, so hold me  
It hates you, so hold me  
It holds you, so hold me  
Until it sleeps

So tell me why you've chosen me  
Don't want your grip, don't want your greed  
Don't want it

I'll tear me open, make you gone  
No more can you hurt anyone  
And the fear still shakes me  
So hold me, until it sleeps

It grips you, so hold me  
It stains you, so hold me  
It hates you, so hold me  
It holds you, so hold me  
Until it sleeps

I don't want it, want it, want it, want it, want it  
No

So tear me open, but beware  
These things inside without a care  
And the dirt still stains me  
So wash me, 'til clean...

I'll tear me open, make you gone  
No longer will you hurt anyone  
And the hate still shapes me  
So hold me, until it sleeps...

(Metallica-Until it sleeps)

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**Prologue – CeLEstIAL drEaMS**

One of his earliest memories as a child was a pair of sad eyes looking down at him; two sad brown eyes that cried as they looked at him meaningfully. He knew there should be words accompanying those eyes but he didn't hear them. He thought he ought to because somehow they seemed important, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't look beyond those eyes. No sound was heard, none but a faint wind blowing somewhere in the distance. And he almost felt soft fingers caressing his front giving him a sense of comfort, warmth and security…

But no matter how hard he tried, this memory always ended up in the same way… With a pair of deep gray eyes replacing the brown ones; two merciless eyes staring down at him hatefully, making him hurt.

And all this left him with a profound sense of loss, abandonment and endless sadness.

As time went by and he grew older he couldn't help but wonder if this image was actually a memory or just a figment of his imagination. No matter the truth, it stuck with him for the better part of his childhood and until he reached the age of twelve, every night he dreamt of those eyes at least once; and every morning waking up he would find his body soaked in sweat and his face wet from tears. He had tried to find out the person to whom those two pairs of eyes belonged to but no one in his immediate environment had either brown or gray ones that matched those in his dreams so eventually he gave up the effort…

And the dreams consequently left him.

And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost.

Years later, when the dream came back, he was not prepared for it… and he could not know what it stood for.

It was a bad omen, but he realized it too late.

And as the night fell upon his eyes by a treacherous hand of the past, his only and last regret was not living long enough to tell him, the only person who needed to know.

He would have cried… if he had time.

No time.

Time to die.


	2. Chapter 1 NiGHt tImE ecliPSe

**Chapter 1- NIgHT TImE EcLiPsE**

He woke up with a start, his body sweating and shivering intensely. He hadn't had that dream in very long time. In fact he hadn't had it since the age of twelve. Those eyes…

Why had he had this dream now? Why after all this time his childhood nightmare had come back to haunt him? His hands were shaking… no, not his hands… his whole body was trembling…

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to block the images away. He tried to think of the thinks he liked, the things he loved…

But Morpheus had different plans. Adam tossed and turned in bed tangled with sweaty bed sheets trying to decide which side was best. It became more and more clear that there was no best side. The problem was not the bed itself; it was himself all along. There were so many thoughts in his head, swirling like a twister, like a mad hurricane across the desolate desert… they kept his eyes wide open. He didn't like it at all. He hated them because they all came down to one person, Rey Mysterio aka Oscar Gutierrez.

With some weird twist of fate, life had joined them; it had bound them together; even more, it had connected their psyche, made them two halves of one single soul transforming their lives into heaven…

And some times into pure hell.

Adam knew how true this was. In more than one occasions, their relationship as well as their lives had been put on the line. The first blow had come when Adam's father had decided to win his son back by kidnapping Rey with the help of some friends…

This memory was enough to bring Adam up, sitting on the bed his hands hugging the back of his neck.

'God, my neck hurts…' 

He tried no to think about those times. He had the _privilege _of witnessing first hand what Jacob, Jason, Henry and Anderson had done to his love; the twisted things, the crimes against nature they had performed on him…

He shivered badly, and as the cold in the room seemed to grow considerably.

And he definitely did not want to think of what Asmodai had done. The chaos and despair the demon had wreaked upon them all. He doubted there were any wrestlers that had not been affected by the events that took place in London, one way or another. He tried to put these thoughts beside him.

God knows Rey had tried to. To this day, Adam wondered how he had managed to do it without going insane. It hadn't been an easy ride. Each turn hid another huge obstacle to overcome and he had to use his whole patience and love to help him… help them, survive. There were so many nights, Adam had actually lost count, he had stayed up listening to Rey talk in his sleep, speak unspeakable words, words that made his blood freeze and his heart stop beating. How many nights had he spent caressing Rey's front, trying to chase away the nightmares, all the while Rey was crying and mumbling '_I love you father'_ in his sleep. But the pain on his face, it reminded Adam the look Rey had when he was tortured in the cabin. Adam had no doubts who he was dreaming about. And that made cold sweat run down his spine.

And those nights, Rey wouldn't let go of Adam. In his sleep, he still held onto Adam for dear life. And he hung on to him, trying to be brave and strong; trying to chase away his on demons; his own guilt.

Adam had tried talking to Rey; he had tried to help him out by making him share his experience, but Rey had preferred not to say a word. The only think he wanted, the only think he ever asked was to be held tight. He only had said he needed Adam to love him.

'Hold me close… hold me like you'll never going to let me go…'

'I'm never letting you go' 'Adam… I love you' 

'I know… I love you too'

Adam stood up from his bed and walked to the bathroom. He splashed some water to his face hoping it would clear his thoughts and help him go back to sleep. How did Rey do it? How had he not lost his mind yet? He had asked him once that same question and all he got back was a short bitter laugh. Rey had answered the question a few months later, one night after they had made love. They were in bed one holding the other, relaxed, calm and happy. He never knew what had made him answer at that particular moment in time. He only remembered hearing Rey saying that he wasn't sure he hadn't lost his mind.

'What do you mean?' 

'You asked me once how I did it… how I had I not lost my mind yet…'

'And?'

'I'm not sure I haven't…' he had trailed off.

Adam turned off the water but didn't wipe off his face with a towel. He let the cool water run down his face, neck and bare chest. Maybe like this he would be able to catch some sleep.

He was alone in the hotel room because Rey had gone with the Smackdown roster to do some shows and tapings. He wouldn't be able to see him for two weeks, as their schedules did not coincide, and he was a little frustrated.

The only think he could think off as being worse than lonely, was being lonely and afraid.

But afraid of what? What was so frightening about tonight? Was it just a dream? His mind kept returning to his dream; the same one he had been having as a small child… the same one he had again tonight… for the first time in years.

He wanted to pick up the phone and call Rey, tell him about this, about his fears; tell him to be careful.

'Of what?'

Those eyes in his dreams… they meant something… something important. He knew it. His gut also told him that it was imperative to find out; and find out soon.

'How?'

This was so frustrating. He punched the sink with his fist, making his knuckles hurt. But they didn't bleed. Some part of him wanted to see the blood flow. He looked at his face in the mirror half expecting to see someone behind his shoulder. He knew he was alone in the room, but he couldn't help but feel a presence with him. He kept staring behind his shoulder through the mirror, his breath picking up pace and adrenaline rising dangerously. Water still ran down his face…

Or is it sweat?

He suddenly felt anger rising from within; anger coming from out of nowhere. He gritted his teeth. He was angry at himself. He looked down at his hands again. They were trembling slightly and the skin had become blood red from his punch at the sink. He wished again they would bleed.

'This is getting nowhere.'

A passing thought, nothing more. He wished again Rey was there. He would have known what to do, what to say to make it go away. He looked at the phone sitting on the night stand next to the bed.

'I need you… God, help me I need so much tonight… and you are away. And I am here alone…'

His heart sank. He closed his eyes and started to walk out of the bathroom when he took one last glance of his face in the mirror.

It was a passing image, a passing thought, nothing more, nothing less, but as soon as he saw it, his heart stopped.

What he glimpsed at was his eyes; his own big grey eyes. He had seen his idol in the mirror countless times, but he hadn't realized it.

Not until tonight.

Not until he had dreamt again.

Not until he had met his father.

He shivered violently and he felt his breath escape his lips loudly.

"This can't be… it can't…"

He shook his head trying to deny it. He continued breathing fast, and he felt like he had run ten miles in just a few seconds. He brought his hand on his mouth and covered it trying to muffle a cry.

'Please God no…'

He felt tears ran down his eyes because he could no longer hide from the truth; the painful truth.

That the eyes in the dream looked so much like his own. They looked like… like his father's.

But that wasn't what hurt most. What hurt were the words… the words he unexpectedly remembered.

Words began to fill his head, phrases he had forgotten, he had lost in his childhood. They all seemed to invade his mind all at once.

It was clear now after all these years… after all these events… this wasn't a dream. It was a memory.

It was his father looking down at him as a child while his mother cried in the distance. He still could feel fingers grappling his infant tender flesh, hurting him while those eyes burnt him. And he was speaking, his voice coming out both crystal clear and rotten at the same time.

'I promise you… I may not live to see you die, but I'll make sure you will die none the less. I promise you, you will suffer like I have… and you will die… but not before I kill everything and everyone you hold so close to your heart'

Adam found himself holding the sink for support, thankful he hadn't broken it a while ago. His eyes were shining from the tears and the fear, but the blood in his veins had frozen. His mind had stopped working and all he could think about was his dream. His ears were pounding and all he could hear was his pulse. He had become deaf to all other sounds.

Deaf to the sound of the door opening.

Deaf to silent steps on the carpet approaching the bathroom.

Deaf to the sound of a switchblade.

All he could hear was the words in his head. All he could think was his dream.

The next thing that crossed his mind was Rey. He had to tell Rey. Somehow he knew this wasn't over yet. Somehow he knew they weren't clear of Adam's past.

But the thought came a little too late.

As he turned swiftly to reach for his phone, two hands grabbed him from behind as he passed the bathroom door. A hand covered his mouth, to keep him from screaming. The other held him in a tight painful embrace.

He didn't have the time to scream. He didn't have the time…

No time…

His eyes watered as he felt the switchblade's cold kiss on his neck.

'No_…_' he thought

Another man was standing in front of him, while the second made sure Adam didn't move.

Another man.

'Not you… Not you… Not you…' His beautiful eyes opened wide upon the sight of the other man.

His mind had barely the time to register the form of the man with the knife. He didn't have time to fight back. He didn't have time to breathe.

No time.

The switchblade began its furious travel across his neck and his eyes could only stare at the reflection of the steel on the killer's eyes.

A tear ran down his face. And blood filled his mouth.

No time.

Two eyes staring back at him; two eyes drowned in lust and hate.

He knew those eyes. He had seen them before. He wanted to cry. But the seconds passed rapidly and the blade was near the end of its journey. Blood was choking him; blood was filling his mouth; blood was running down from the cut on his neck; and those hands around him, squeezing the life out of him.

He new the cut was too deep… he could feel it. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would.

His eyes began to blur and his strength was leaving him in fast paces.

The tear was half way across his cheek, mixed with blood and sweat.

At that time he made the last choice of his life. He chose his last thought. He wouldn't die regretting his actions or his life. He would die thinking of him. He was the only one that mattered.

And he died thinking of Rey.

With his last breath, his last spark of life he chose to die thinking of Oscar; thinking of his eyes, the way they shined the first time they had made love; thinking of the way Rey had spoken 'I love you'quietly to him on their last night together; thinking of the love and the soul they shared.

No time.

End Game…

Adam's eyes became glass like Rey's heart.

Adam's eyes became cold like the snow in Canada.

Adam's eyes became dark like the deepest, moonless of nights.

And he left quietly into the night.

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Do not go gentle into that good night,  
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,  
Because their words had forked no lightning they  
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright  
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,  
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,  
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight  
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,  
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  
Do not go gentle into that good night.  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Do not go gentle into that good night-Dylan Thomas


	3. Chapter 2 blAcK TeArs

This is the 2nd chapter. Thanks for those who read the story and reviewed it- I appreciate it so much!

Benoit and The Undertaker will be in the story but they will appear in a later chapter, playing a very important part (especially Undertaker)

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Chapter 2-blAcK TeArs

The wind outside blew with a force Rey didn't recall ever witnessing. No one dared venture outdoors. The streets were empty and only some cars and buses were rolling down the avenue. The trash that were once packed in bins, were now littering the pavements. The rising sun gave the sky a bizarre orange blue color, which only made the city look lonely and ominous.

'A new day is coming' he thought.

He was stuck in the hotel along with the other Smackdown wrestlers due to weather restrictions. All plane and train departures were cancelled and this morning, as they were packing up they were told that they wouldn't be able to leave for the next taping until the next morning. With complains, heavy hearts and sighs they headed back to their rooms with nothing else to do but wait it out.

Rey was still standing in the lobby waiting for his elevator ride to the sixth floor and back to his room. He had a feeling about today, something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something bothered him; something made his heart beat faster for no apparent reason. His palms were sweating and nervously he looked around searching for no one in particular. He took one last look outside. Although it was daytime, the fast gathering clouds outside gave the sky a gray color making it look like it was nighttime already. He didn't like it one bit. He reached inside his shirt and let his fingers touch the pendant, the silver circle with the winding cross that Mark had given him some time ago…

'Some time ago…' he thought again. 'The time when Eddie was still alive… when he was still here with me…' The thought of Eddie always brought tears to his eyes. It always made him cry to think of the way he had died, without a word of goodbye. His passing somehow felt wrong, unfair…

'But who said that death is fair? Who told you that all is equal in love and death?'

No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he was told otherwise, he couldn't help but feel responsible for Eddie's death. He still remembers the day they had found Eddie dead in his hotel room. He remembers how numb he was when he was told that he had a few minutes alone to say goodbye.

'Goodbye?'

Time had gone by in slow motion as he had entered his room to say his goodbye to his friend… his brother… it was so hard to see him there motionless. He still looked so much alive. How could he say goodbye to him forever when all he wanted was hug him, look into his eyes and tell him not give up, tell him how much he loved him… how much he needed his brother.

Then the tears had come… tears like rivers, eyes like abysmal lakes.

After that the next few days had been a blur. The funeral, the tears, the house show dedicated to Eddie… everything was numb. And the tears never stopped; never stopped falling like a wild waterfall.

In all this madness, when time had actually stopped and he some nights thought he was still in that room saying goodbye to Eddie, only one thing remained constant, only one thing gave him strength to carry on.

Adam…

By the time the news had reached him about Eddie's death, Adam was in another city half way across the country with the Raw Brand. Rey never asked Adam how he had managed to come all this way and meet him so fast, but he was grateful he was there. He wouldn't have made it without his support. The night of Eddie's death, Sunday he remembers it was, it found them both lying in bed with Adam holding Rey in his arms trying to lull him to sleep with soft caresses, butterfly kisses and strong whispers of words of love, support and eternal dedication. Rey had been unable to close his eyes, afraid that if he did shut his eyes he would never wake up again, he would see Adam no more. And he was so scared…

And all those tears just kept flooding his eyes. But Adam was there holding him tightly in his arms, kissing the pain away the way he only knew how until eventually Rey exhausted from the crying fell into a restless sleep.

That sleep brought back nightmares he had fought so hard to forget; nightmares like Jacob, like that cabin in the woods, like the darkness that was gathering around him devouring everything and everyone in its pass… like Asmodai… That night, Adam was thankful he had come all the way to Rey because for the first time in a while, the pendant was hurting Rey again signaling how weak and how dangerously fragile his little Mexican lover still was. Like Mark had told them the night of the exorcism back in the UK, Adam had touched the pendant and although it burned his hand, he didn't let go. Slowly the hurting went away but it left behind a bitter taste, and it was then that Rey began to realize that maybe Asmodai wasn't really gone…

'Could all this be his doing?' Rey wanted to ask Mark if indeed Asmodai had taken on his promise and killed Eddie just because he had looked into the bowels of hell during the exorcism. He wanted to ask him if in the end Rey was to blame for Eddie's death. But he didn't find the courage to ask the question because he simply knew he wouldn't be able to live with the guilt should the answer be the one he feared.

His hand clutched the pendant tighter and it was only then he heard the elevator arrive to the ground floor he realized it was beginning to hurt him again. A voice from behind him startled him and he turned around to see Dave Batista.

"Hey Rey… are you alright?"

Rey looked at Dave. He admitted that every time he looked at him, he felt uncomfortable.

'Another one's life you have managed to ruin'

After the events back in London, their relationship had been strictly professional, each man avoiding any kind of personal conversation and contact. However each time they looked at each other the suspending tension could be cut with a knife, and Rey wasn't sure it was a good or a bad thing. He always thought there was nothing to forgive and he wished Dave wasn't feeling guilty any more. He wished they could back to being friends like they used to be.

"Are you OK?" he repeated the question.

Rey snapped back to reality

"Yeah… I'm fine…"

He said and entered in the elevator with Dave right beside him. The ride to the sixth floor was an uncomfortably quiet one with Rey looking down on the carpet and Dave staring up the ceiling. They both sighed with relief when the doors opened to their floor.

Dave couldn't help noticing the way Rey's hand was touching his chest and it took him a great amount of strength to find the courage and ask.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah why do you ask?"

"I don't know… you are holding your chest pretty tightly there."

Only then did Rey realize he was still clutching the pendant firmly and he was a bit embarrassed when he let it go.

"What is that?" Dave asked.

"Oh that… that is a pendant…" he replied and took it off to show it. The relief he felt was immediate. He had never taken it off and to feel it off of him was kind of exhilarating and liberating; like a huge weight was being lifted from his chest. However he knew that this was for the best. Wearing it may have caused him a great deal of discomfort, and even pain but it was much more preferable than the alternative. He handed it to Dave who took it in his hand and held it in front of his face against the light.

"It feels weird…"

"What do you mean?"

"It is a cross but it doesn't seem right. The way it's winding… in a sort of twisted way… where did you get it?"

"Um… Mark gave it to me the day of the exorcism" the uttered the last words almost mutely. "It's supposed to keep me safe from… them…" again his voice came out almost a whisper.

Those last words made Dave look at the luchador straight in the eyes and he jerked his hand forward giving back the pendant. They were standing outside Rey's room when Rey decided to put it back on and Dave couldn't help noticing a wince of pain when the cross touched Rey' s flesh.

"Does… does it hurt you?" he asked reluctantly.

"Sometimes"

"What do you do then?"

"It depends… most times Adam is there so his presence is soothing. He makes the pain go away…"

"And when he is not? What then?"

Rey swallowed feeling his neck dry. Rare were the times when Adam wasn't there when it hurt. As a matter of fact, this was the first time it hurt as bad without having the Canadian at his side.

"I don't know… yet… he is always there for me when it gets bad."

"Does it hurt now?" he asked with concern making his eyes shine.

Rey smiled. It did hurt and it did make him scared out of his mind to know that there is little he could do to make it go away, but he couldn't tell Dave about it. He wouldn't worry him about something he could do nothing about. So he just smiled and lied…

He hated lying.

"No it doesn't. Don't worry… I'll be fine. I just need some rest."

Rey opened the door and was starting to close it when Dave's hand stopped it. Rey lifted his head and met Dave's angry eyes.

"Don't lie to me Rey Rey… I may not know a lot of things but one thing I know is when YOU lie. And you are lying."

Rey was speechless. Being ashamed of what he had done was one thing but getting caught was another. He never really understood how Eddie had lied and cheated and got away with it… most of the times anyway. He lowered his gaze.

"I'm sorry… you are right… but there is nothing you can do…"

"Rey… does any one else know?"

"Benoit knows but he is away because of his injuries and God knows when he'll be back. Eddie knew… but… he…" he paused at his name. He didn't continue and Dave understood "Tazz knows too but he is off to ECW… Mark too… but he is not always around as you know… and now you know…"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Being alone is not a good thing for you right now. If it hurts we should call Adam and tell him"

"It won't do any good"

"Why?"

"Because there is nothing he can do half way across the country and scare him over this won't help anyone."

"So what are you going to do? When does it stop?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure it will ever stop."

"Will you let me help you?"

"Help me?" Rey wasn't sure he quite understood what he was being told. "It's fine really…it doesn't hurt so much, so the pain is sufferable."

Dave's eyes softened.

"Oscar… no pain should be. Not for you."

Those words left Rey speechless. He didn't see that one coming. Especially when Dave decided to emphasize his point by placing his hand on Rey's bare chest touching flesh and silver. He wanted to show Rey how he felt. Seeing him in pain was beyond the things he could stand. He had suffered enough and he wanted to show the Mexican that he was there whenever he needed him.

If it were up to him, he would always be there for him. He would always be on his side, not 'half way across the country'.

Rey eyes closed from the contact. His mind didn't register the fact that it was Dave's hand touching him. The only thing he could think off was how good it felt! How the pain had vanished completely leaving behind only a hot sensation, almost like a tingling, like too much adrenaline rushing from his brain to his heart… like too much testosterone being released from his body. He let a soft moan come out of his lips, nothing more than a whisper heard only by them. His mind was numb, completely shut down and his breath was coming out in raged gasps. The touch of Dave's hand had the same effect as Adam's did and at this point when the pain had grown to the point of being unbearable, the contact was something more than liberating… it was rousing.

Barely did he realize he was inside the room, in the dark, alone with Dave's body against his own.

Vaguely he felt Dave's lips brushing against his own; his fingers rubbing his soft chest chasing away the pain, replacing it with lust. His mouth kept traveling against his own, lips meeting, sucking gently but passionately. Their breathing picked up pace and for a moment Rey had forgotten where he was. Somewhere at the back of his head a little voice told him that what he was doing was wrong but his pain had grown so much over the last few minutes… and Dave's touch over his chest was so soothing…. Rey moaned when he felt another hand touch his shoulder and gently caress its way down to his tattooed back. He moaned again and felt Dave's hot breath on his neck, nuzzling. His body tensed and he hissed as the familiar burn in his groin grew when he felt Dave's wet lips sucking his skin and his tongue licking his jaw-line. He kept his eyes closed and he had almost given into the passion and the lust. There was a feeling growing between them, like gluttony. The more they touched each other, the more they wanted to taste each other, the more the sexual attraction grew. Rey couldn't help but get more roused when he felt Dave's body touch his own, his muscles touching his own, his hand caressing his lower back, his hard cock rubbing against his…

And it felt so good… and he had almost forgotten where he was and with who.

Almost.

It was only when he felt Dave's tongue in his mouth that Rey's eyes snapped open and violently jerked back.

"No…" he shouted as he took another step back, his eyes frantic and angry, but not at Dave. He was angry with himself. His own hand replaced Dave's on the pendant. Rey waved his head, refusing to believe what had happened.

Dave began to speak but was cut off by Rey

"No… don't speak… don't say a word!"

On the verge of tears he took one last step back. He wasn't angry any more. He was sad and hurt.

"Please go away…"

Dave could see clearly that Rey was in pain.

"How can I? If it hurts and I can do …."

"No… it really fucking hurts and there is NOTHING I want you to do about it." Rey's furious voice echoed in the room. "But what hurts more than this stupid pendant is what we almost did. I could never betray Adam. I would rather die than do that to him. I would rather suffer an eternity than hurt him. And I hate… I hate myself for going this far… Now please go away and leave me alone"

"But…"

"Which part didn't you fucking understand… GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM"

He yelled and his heart almost broke upon seeing the hurt and sorry expression in the big man's face.

"It is my pain, my life, my choice… don't mess up with my head… not you too… please leave me be" he said and at last he felt his legs give up. He sat on the floor leaning against the bed with his back turned on Dave and his hands clutching his head.

"Don't mess up with my head" he mumbled to himself.

Dave could see that Rey was hurting and despite the fact he wanted to reach out and comfort him, he held back. The feeling was still too strong inside him, that same sensation like gluttony. His heart told him that Rey was probably feeling the same thing, that same forbidden and sinful emotion. Only Dave knew how he wanted to kneel down next to him and comfort him, hold him close and take the pain away. He had come to a point where pretend and hide his feelings wasn't an option any more. He had to show Rey what he felt.

But at what cost?

The last thing he ever wanted was to cause him more pain and distress. And that is what was happening despite the fact that during those few moments of kissing Rey was actually enjoying it.

But he stayed back. He didn't kneel down. He didn't comfort him. He just stared. And when he found the guts he whispered.

"I'm… I'm so sorry… I never meant to…." he uttered but left without finishing his thought closing the door behind him. He didn't think Rey was paying attention to him anyway. All he did was sit down, sob and mutter… and Dave could hear him from outside the room.

"Don't mess up with my head… don't mess up with my head…"

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I'm sitting here  
Sad and all alone  
Crying lonely black tears  
No one around to help me  
No one, not that I can I see  
Just leave me be  
To cry my lonely black tears  
Don't try to help  
You're just to late  
I can't escape  
My lonely black tears  
After all these years  
I'm still sitting here  
Crying my lonely black tears  
One day maybe  
They'll stop flowing  
The tears will quit growing  
Deep inside  
And I will cry no more  
Lonely Black Tears

Lonely Black Tears-Miranda J. Paulsen


	4. Chapter 3 CLoSEd WiNdOwdoc

Chapter 3 – cLoSEd WiNdOw 

He walked quickly to his room, looking above his shoulder for any one who could have listened and hastily closed the door behind him.

There he stopped. He took one deep breath and shakily walked to his bed. He sat down exhaling loudly and let his body fall backwards on the soft mattress.

'What is happening to us? To me?' He rubbed his face with is hands, wiping off the sweat from his forehead. There were so many questions filling up his head, so many feelings invading his heart, but they all came down to one thing.

Since the events in the UK, he felt that a special bond was created between him and Rey. A strong bond beyond words, something he couldn't yet describe but he seemed to feel it running through his body every time he saw Rey. He didn't want to admit it, and he didn't admit it to himself but after today, things were beginning to make sense.

But what was the reason? Why now? What was so special about this day that urged him to make such a move? He knew Rey was involved and deeply in love with Adam… He knew it very well indeed. He had seen them together, and although when they were in public the couple was never openly expressive and affectionate, sometimes the looks they gave each other were enough to make him understand; understand that this relationship was something more than just screwing each other and kissing; something more than just lust and passion. The relationship forged between Mexican and Canadian was more about respect, love and most of all it was about them finding in each other their soul mate.

And Dave could not deny it any more. He was so jealous of it. And he wanted this for himself. But he never let his envy get the better of him… ever. As long as they were happy together, he was content in just looking. He didn't care having put his life on hold; he was willing to wait until the opportune moment. Until this bond between Rey and Adam ceased to exist, he would wait; even if it took him a lifetime. This thought stopped him.

A lifetime?

Was he really so in love with Rey? Or was the jealousy really the main reason for this? Had he tried to kiss him today because he was jealous or because he loved him? Was it because he was feeling lonely? If it hadn't been for London, would he still feel the same? Could he really wait a lifetime? What if Adam and Rey stayed together for the rest of their lives? Could Dave wait? Alone?

He waved his head. The thought of being alone was scaring him more than he imagined it would. He didn't want to be alone but more than that, he wanted to be with Rey; tell him what he felt.

'What do you feel?' 

He had spent many nights, after the incident in the UK thinking, contemplating, cudgeling his brains and loosing sleep over this question. He had decided to give himself time. If this was indeed only about jealousy and lust, then time would have proven him right by making him forget him, move on and find someone else to love.

But that was months ago, and with every night coming, he sweated, lost sleep and dreamed …

'Oh yes… those dreams…' 

He didn't know if he should classify them as good dreams or plain nightmares. And they were frequent, but seldom the same. He dreamt about kissing Rey; kissing him passionately, innocently, secretly, guiltily, lustfully, slowly, teasingly, sleepily, angrily… sometimes he dreamt of touching him and some times his dreams went a little beyond just making out.

Those were the problem. He dreamt about caresses, soft and slow necking in the dark or under the moonlight, tracing his tongue on his soft skin, starting from his lips down to his neck, feeling him tremble under his hot breath, his hands pinching his nipples making him hiss, then sliding down ever so slowly to his abdomen and taking his cock, stroking it fast or slow and licking it from top to bottom all the way to his balls, tasting every inch of it until the end, savoring his cum as it filled his mouth. Other nights, he dreamt about actually making love to him. Sometimes slowly, sometimes violently, sometimes, passionately but it was always the same feeling; a sense of fulfillment and happiness as he dreamt entering his body, as he slid in Rey's tight body, numbness and tension invading him at the same time. And those eyes… In his dreams he never lost sight of them; he didn't want to miss anything. As if upon closing his eyes or even blinking, it would all be over… and every night it ended the same way. Dave would eventually close his eyes, loosing himself in this love making, and in the blink of an eye Rey was gone, leaving him alone on an empty bed covered in sweat and sometimes faint traces of blood. Those times, Dave would wake up frustrated, horny as hell and finish the job by jerking off angrily in the middle of messy sweaty bed sheets. When the orgasm hit him it was violent, making his every muscle twitch and tremble, making him scream in pleasure and blurring his vision but the warmth that spread through his body would be lost quickly always leaving him with a feeling of loneliness and misery.

He hated that last feeling. And he hated himself for wanting Rey when he couldn't have him.

So what had made him try and kiss Rey today? His line of thought went in circles. Beginning and ending with the same unanswered question. Maybe there was a point he was missing.

One thing though, that kept nagging him, was the fact that Rey didn't react to the kissing immediately. Was he enjoying it or was he caught in surprise and just delayed to act? He hadn't been mistaken when he had heard Rey moaning in pleasure. And he was sure that the luchador hadn't rejected his caresses.

Whatever the answer, Dave knew one thing. The look on Rey's face when he had pushed him away would give him more dreams. Bad ones.

But when their lips had touched, Rey did look like he was enjoying it. He looked like whatever his cause of his distress was, it was gone.

'Wasn't he?'

He stood up and walked to the window. He leaned his forehead against the glass and took one big breath. He held it as long as he could and when he let it go it steamed the glass.

Rey's words were spinning in his head.

Don't mess up with my head 

Don't mess up with my head

Don't mess up with my…

Don't mess up ….

Don't…

He wanted to drive his head through that damned window and make his feelings go away… make them disappear. But the mere thought of Rey, of his smile, his eyes, his body, the way he moved… the thought of Rey's beautiful mind and precious glass heartsent shivers down his spine and made his body tremble from excitement.

But today he had taken it a bit too far and Rey obviously couldn't handle it. It was still too soon to lay it upon him. He was still too fragile. He had wanted to cry when he had seen him break down and fall on the floor. How he hated himself right now because of the pain he had caused the man he loved…

'Loved?' 

That last one shook him to the ground.

He had finally identified his primary feeling. He had finally recognized to core of torment.

And although he wanted to embrace it and be happy about it, he found hating himself.

Desperately he fell on back on the bed and tried to sleep.

When sleep came, it was filled with disturbing images and haunting voices.

Thankfully he couldn't remember any of it when he woke up.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Bobby Lashley was late. Not that he had any reason to hurry back to the hotel, but the watch on his wrist reminded him that being a WWE wrestler was a demanding job, one that required rest and many hours of training. And it was well past midnight.

The weather was angry. The wind blew fiercely outside and a storm was approaching. Logic told him he would be better inside, sleeping, resting. Maybe tomorrow the weather would allow them to travel to the next city and their next show.

He paid the cab driver his fare and exited. The wind blew some dust in his eyes blinding him momentarily. He entered the lobby in a hurry never expecting to find anyone at this time. His rubbed his eyes, causing tears to wash away the dust. Then he saw Teddy Long from a distance.

Theodore R. Long was the Smackdown manager, and a good one at that. He was strict, fair, funny and imaginative. Everyone loved him and it was hard to hold a grudge against him, especially when he was smiling or winking his eye mischievously or doing his 'happy dance'.

Bobby envied and admired the manager.

But not tonight. Something had put him in an uproar because he was still awake, talking over the phone, gesturing wildly and

'Crying?'

'Is he crying?'

Bobby shook his head and rubbed the last traces of dust and tears away from his eyes. He came close to Teddy who spotted him immediately but didn't finish his call.

"What am I supposed to tell him?"

"…"

"When did this happen?"

"…"

"God damn… God damn it…" Teddy's voice broke and he sat in one of leather armchairs. He buried his face in his hand and rubbed it. Bobby had never seen him so distressed before. He took a seat in the armchair next to him and waited. Teddy didn't say much after that. He just held his phone and nodded.

Then the phone call ended. Bobby had never seen Long so tired and so sad before.

"Teddy what's going on?"

Teddy's face had become whiter than Ken Kennedy's. His hand was covering his mouth as if trying to prevent any words from coming out… as if trying to protect a secret.

"What's going on?" he insisted.

Teddy eyed the big black man and cleared his throat but that didn't stop his voice from cracking when he spoke.

"Adam Copeland is dead"

Four words...

Four words and Bobby lost the earth from under his feet. He wanted to ask the 'how' and the 'when'; he wanted to ask if this was a bad joke…

"It happened today. He… he was murdered…"

Breath escaped Lashley's lips like a wild punch in the stomach.

"Murdered?" his voice came out barely audible.

Teddy's eyes became sadder. If this was the effect the news had on Bobby, who didn't know Adam personally, then how would the others react?

And how would Rey Rey react?

"Murdered… someone broke into his hotel room and slit his throat. Medical examination showed traces of post mortem sexual abuse."

Bobby leaned back and tried to catch his breath.

"What? He…" Lashley was still unable to speak.

"He was killed and then raped. Whoever killed him, raped a dead body…"

"… I can't believe it… this can't be true…"

"No one heard a thing. Shawn Michaels found him naked and called the police. That's all I know… please Bobby don't tell anyone… not yet…"

"But Teddy they are going to know. The chances are some guys already know… if Shawn knows, then Hunter probably knows too; and if he knows then who knows who else does… Does… does Rey know?"

"No one has told him yet as far as I know. Nobody dares…"

"But we have to tell him… he has to know…" Bobby looked desperate. "If I was him, I'd want to know…"

"We will tell Rey Rey, but all I'm sayin' is spare him the details. He doesn't have to know every gruesome detail. It will break him…"

Bobby saw the reason in the manager's words.

"I'll tell him" he volunteered. Teddy looked in surprise.

"Are you sure?"

"No" he whispered. "But he has to be told by someone. Might as well be me…"

Bobby stood from the armchair and headed to the elevators. Teddy stopped him.

"Hey… when you tell him, please stick around… make sure he is alright… make sure he doesn't try anything stupid…"

"Do you think he will try and kill himself?"

"That's what I'm afraid of… I'll be here in case you need me…"

Bobby nodded and entered the elevator, heading to his room. He had to take a few moments and gather his thoughts before going to Rey's room.

The corridors were silent and eerily empty.

Before Bobby closed the door to this room, he stood a while and listened to the emptiness and the calmness.

The big breath before the plunge.

A light bulb flickered in the far end of the corridor and silently went out. When he closed his door, Bobby stood immobile in the darkness.

When he was a young boy, about fifteen, his grandfather had given him a book of poems as a present for his birthday. It was an old book, one that according to his grandfather, his own grandfather had given him when he was fifteen. The book itself was well preserved and the pages were yellow but clean. Bobby remembered most of the poems, but one he remembered above all. It was one that his grandfather cherished most; one that reminded him of his wife, Bobby's dead grandmother. It was a poem of Robert Frost.

Bobby tried to remember how the verses went. He had read the poem to his grandfather's funeral a couple of years later and now he was angry at himself for not remembering it. For a moment panic surfaced. He was panicking for having forgotten it.

His eyes searched frantically around as if searching for a clue in the dark room, something that might remind him…

Then he saw the closed window… and he sighed in a guilty relief.

He remembered. He closed his eyes and recited the verses…

In silence…

In pain…

In courage…

In strength…

In hope….

He took a deep breath and reopened the door. The first step he took, the first step to Rey's room was the hardest he had taken in a long while.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Now close the windows and hush all the fields;

If trees must, let them silently toss;

No bird is singing now, and if there is,

Be it my loss.

It will be long ere the marshes resume,

It will be long ere the earliest bird.

So close the windows and not hear the wind,

But see all wind-stirred.

ROBERT FROST-NOW CLOSE THE WINDOW


	5. Chapter 4 pApIlLoN

**Chapter 4-pApPiLlon**

The wind blew fiercer and loud frequent thunders shook the glass windows every time they hit the ground. He kept the lights off, flooding the room in a thick coat of blackness. The darkness had fallen early… and it would keep falling sooner and sooner as the fall marched on, winter approaching steadily and inevitably.

If there was something he liked about this weather, it was the rain. He loved to sit in complete darkness; the windows wide open no matter the cold, waiting for the rain to come. And when the rain hit, he loved it completely, unconditionally. He loved the way the earth smelled, as if the rain had given it a new breath of life. But most of all he loved to watch it fall while he rested in his arms. After his serious and almost deadly pneumonia however Adam had forbidden him to walk out in the rain, or keep the windows open and he didn't dare do either. They were just content in watching the raindrops fall together in darkness, in silence.

Tonight Rey was alone. And he did not like this weather. Thunders shook the ground, startling him, scaring him, but the rain was not coming. As if Hell itself was threatening them, as if Satan was growling and screaming for vengeance. To Rey, the Gates of Heaven this night were locked preventing the rain to come and wash away their sins.

He didn't like to think of Heaven and Hell; especially when he was alone. Not only did it bring back horrifying memories, ones he needed to forget, but it also made his chest hurt.

And it hurt a lot lately. But he never felt he was under threat by the demon. He trusted Mark and the thought of getting rid of the pendant never crossed his mind. Not even when the pain was getting unbearable making him fold up and cry. He felt traces of evil inside him, he still remembered too much, to take it off.

Like tonight…

It had hurt earlier, but then something strange had happened. Dave had touched it, making the pain subside… making him feel…

_Oh my God… Feel… so good…_

Guiltily again Rey felt tears surfacing. He hated they way he lad felt, the way his body had reacted to his touch… the way it still reacted to the memory…

He didn't let it get far. He thought it was more than pervasive to feel guilty, horny, exhilarated, hurt and sad all at the same time. He knew he couldn't help it. He was so confused. In his head it was all a tangled mess, one he couldn't even find the tip to begin the unraveling.

Slowly he realized he was still sitting on the floor. He had no idea for how many hours he had been doing so, but he remembered it was since Dave had touched him… since he had touched the pendant and made the pain go away. How much time had passed? He wanted to move from the floor and go back to bed… sleep, but he couldn't. His eyes kept starring at the window and the dark sky outside. How he wished for rain. At this point, even snow would be welcome.

Snow!

Rey loved the winter and he loved the snow almost as much as he loved the rain. Growing up he didn't have the chance to play with it, feel it, taste it as much as he liked. There was no snow in Mexico and no snow in San Diego.

But there was snow in Canada.

Involuntarily his mind drifted to last winter, right after the trip to London. He and Adam had taken a couple of weeks off and had gone to Adam's home in Canada. He could still remember the happiness he had felt upon seeing all this snow. The sun fell upon those many layers of snow warming his skin but never managing to melt it; keeping it soft enough for him to plunge into and not break a bone. He recalled his lover's laughter as Rey was trying to make little angels on the snow by moving his arms and legs up and down. He also recalled the snowball fight they had and how victorious it had ended for the native when Rey received a huge one straight in the face knocking him off his feet. The end of those two weeks found them both with a serious cold due to all the snow fights and walks out in the cold. Rey had to spend another three days in the hospital as a precaution due to his history of pneumonia… but he didn't regret a thing.

_It was all worth it!_

Of course later he had to put up with Adam's constant nagging and mumbling about how careless they had been and about how they would never wonder out in the cold again. But all this made Rey smile at his lover, his face lighting up with a huge grin and his eyes warm up with love.

A thunder shook the glass windows again and Rey's heart skipped a beat. There was something about tonight. Almost a feeling…

_Could it be sadness?_

_Loss?_

It was almost the same feeling he had the day before Eddie's death.

He closed his eyes. He wished there was snow tonight.

But there was none; only the ghastly wind blowing and the promise of a thunderstorm drawing nearer.

He was glad in a miserable way that the moon was hiding this night behind dark ominous clouds. He didn't want it to shed any light upon him. He wanted to hide in the darkness and punish himself for what he had almost done… for what he had thought of doing with Dave… for feeling so good and so vulnerable…

His hand went to the pendant… the silver twisted cross that hung from his neck, his salvation and his curse. His mind couldn't deal with the truth yet. He understood it, all of it, the demon - Asmodai, his goal and he even accepted the fact that he, of all the people in the world, was chosen to become the means to destroy mankind. Mark had told him, Eddie had told him and Chris had told him… they all had recited the events that fateful night, each from his own point of view; all but Adam. He stubbornly refused to tell them. And Rey didn't insist. Having him beside him was something he was deeply grateful for.

He winced, as he felt a sharp pain on his chest. And that worried him. Never before had the pain come to him so suddenly and so strongly. All previous times, the pain had come slowly and it had never reached high levels. Adam wouldn't let it progress so far. But tonight Rey was alone, by choice no less, in his empty hotel room, with Adam miles away. And this pain was quickly invading him, quickly taking over.

He tried to sit up and lay down on the bed but the sharp pain pinned him down, disabling him from every possible movement. His eyes grew wide with fear and amazement, and his breath hitched.

In a few seconds Rey was holding tightly his chest wishing, praying to God for salvation. His eyes watered from the hurt the cross was causing him. He was sure that if he hadn't been sitting on the floor, he would have fallen down. Breath was coming out fast and it hurt him even more. He looked at the nightstand and upon seeing his cell phone, he reached for it dialing immediately Adam's number.

It rang. Once… twice…

Nothing. He let it ring six times. Then it switched to voice mail.

Rey hang up and let his phone fall on the floor. By now he could hardly breathe. How he wished he could remove the pendant and throw it out the window.

He dare not. He could not.

If he had the strength he would have cried. Instead he lay down, his back against the floor and tried to concentrate on breathing…

One breath at a time.

In…

And out…

In…

And out…

Sharp pain shot through his chest and traveled back to his spine, making him moan. He had to end this somehow, but the hurt was so intense he could barely think anything passed it. If he could scream he would have.

As he lay on the floor helpless, scared and almost ready to give up, he had the energy to make one last clear thought… Dave…

'Dave!'

His eyes opened wide. He had touched it and like Adam he had taken the pain away. Painfully slowly he reached his hand and took his cell phone. He remembered having Dave's number somewhere in there. He only wished he would answer. He was his only hope.

He found it… it rang.

Once… twice… and Rey fought back the feeling of deja-vu.

'Please pick up'

"Hello?" Dave's voice answered.

Rey tried to speak but only a rasp moan came from his throat.

"Hello? Who is this?" he sounded annoyed and angry, thinking this might be a prank or worse, a pervert.

It took all Rey's strength to speak though the pain that consumed him.

"H…hel..p… me…"

"Who is this?" This time he sounded alarmed.

"…help… please…"

Rey could say no more. Instead he cried as the hurting grew and spread.

"Rey… is that you? REY?"

"…y…yes…"

His phone slipped from his fingers and fell on the carpet, the call never ending.

"Hold on… I am coming" Dave spoke but Rey barely heard him.

In a matter of minutes, Dave was outside Rey's room banging at the door.

"Rey Rey! Open up… come on…" he yelled. Reason told him however that Rey could not open the door and so he didn't insist too much on shouting. Instead he took a few steps back and just before hurling himself at the door, he thought how stupid this probably was.

'Chances are I am going to end up breaking my shoulder'.

And lunged. To his surprise, the door opened wide. He stopped on his tracks amazed at his force…

'Or maybe the lock wasn't as good as I thought!'

Whatever the reason, Dave was not going to sit and ponder on it too long. He entered the room in big strides and walked towards the bed. He found Rey lying on the floor, both hands clasping tightly that pendant. He didn't show any signs of acknowledging Batista's presence.

Dave quickly took him in his arms and put him on the bed. Rey was shaking; his muscles inflexible, eyes closed shut, tears tracing their way down to his cheeks. He showed no sign of improvement when he was put on the soft bed.

"Rey please… open your eyes… tell me what to do…"

Rey didn't respond. He was sweating and crying. Dave didn't know whether he should call the hospital, wake up the doctor or just panic altogether.

"Please Oscar…open those eyes and look at me…" he begged and touched Rey's burning forehead.

The contact woke up Rey momentarily who looked a bit surprised to see Batista hovering above him. He didn't hesitate though. One hand let go of its hold on the silver cross and with trembling fingers he reached for Dave's own hand. The bigger man gave it to him willingly, thinking that he was offering some sort of support by holding his hand. He was surprised when he saw Rey removing his other hand and letting his chest naked and exposed.

With his feverish eyes, those eyes that shined and burned, he lead his hand on his chest and let it rest on the twisted cross.

Dave was rendered speechless. He didn't realize he was holding his breath. He let his fingers touch the cross and almost drew his hand back when he felt the metal. It was too cold and at first touch he thought it had electrified him. But he held onto it firmly. He took it in his palm and looked at it with hate. He hated it for the pain it was causing. He hated for what it stood for. He wanted to remove it and he probably would have done so if Rey hadn't taken his palm, the one holding the loathed symbol and placed it on his chest.

When the contact was made Rey didn't feel the relief immediately. It took a few seconds to settle down and he knew they had to be doing something right because the pain was slowly leaving him. Dave still had the cross entrapped between his fingers and Rey's chest while his other hand caressed Rey front.

He wanted to kiss him so much this moment. Kiss him and take his pain any way he could. Rey's cries were gone and his breathing was slowly returning to normal.

"Are… are you…?" Dave began to ask but Rey just squeezed his hand tighter.

"Better" he whispered. Dave realized he was breathing again and Rey was too, which was a good sign. He felt his muscles relax and he sat on the bed next to the Mexican removing his hand from the pendant. He was glad he had managed to control his urges.

"Does it always hurt so much?"

"The first time Mark put it on me was just as painful… but other than that, this is the only time it has brought me to such a sorry state… I'm sorry if I worried you… it's just…"

"Hey don't mention it… I'm just happy you called… and I'm… happy… that I was able to help…"

"Me too…"

Rey took his eyes off Dave and a wave of sadness overtook him.

"What is it?" Batista asked noticing the sudden change.

"It's probably nothing… just a feeling…"

"A feeling? What are you talking about?"

Rey sat up his own hand still on the pendant.

"Well… I don't understand. Up until now many times have you touched this" he said lifting the cross "What I want to know is what happened? Why did it hurt so much tonight and why it was your touch that took the pain away?"

Dave stood up, walked to the far end of the room and sat in a lonely chair. Could he really go through with this? Could he actually share his feelings with the man of his dreams? His logic told him he ought not to, that it was certain disaster, that this way he was ruining the lives of three people… even if Rey became his, how could they live with themselves knowing what they had done? How could Rey live? He wanted him so badly, but not like this… not if it meant destroying him in the process. How could he risk it after all Rey has been through?

On the other hand, his heart begged for mercy. He couldn't suffer any more. He couldn't hide his feelings and he had to know… even if the result was not the one he hoped for.

He bit his lower lip and looked at the deep brown eyes of the smaller man; those eyes that in this darkness seemed to cast a light brighter than the sun, warming his heart and his soul; those eyes that looked at him now so eagerly, waiting for an answer, for an explanation.

How had they come to this? How had HE come to this?

And despite of what his logic told him, despite of what his mind was screaming, he swallowed and followed his feelings.

"Ever since London, things between us have changed… I didn't want them to but they did… I may have looked distant to you and cold even, but that is not true. I know you think I still blame myself for stabbing you. I do. But I also know that you forgave me… at first I didn't know how you could after I almost killed you… and with every passing day, with every glance at you, I finally understood."

"What are you saying?" Rey asked his eyes frowning, still not understanding where this was all going, still oblivious to Dave's sentiments.

"I don't know what happened today. I have no answer to your question… all I know is that I touched you… and something happened, something woke up in me, gave me strength to tell you…"

"Tell me what?" Rey asked finding the courage and the strength to stand but not come close to Dave. His eyes were shining from growing tears but Batista didn't know what kind they were; tears of hate or sorrow…

Those were not tears of happiness… they couldn't have been.

Dave opened his mouth to answer and reveal it all, empty his soul at last, but at that precise moment came a knock at the door. He looked at Rey and hesitated. Then he moved towards the door and opened it. Bobby Lashley stood at the other side, looking pale and teary.

Rey lost his breath. He needed to sit down but couldn't move. He had a strange sensation of sinking, falling in a bottomless pit. Bobby didn't have to say much.

"Bobby? What is it? What are you doing here at this hour?" Dave asked.

Bobby was a little surprised to see Dave in this particular room but didn't speak his opinion. Instead he took a couple of steps inside and looked at Rey. He wiped his sweating palms on his jeans.

"Rey… something happened today… to Adam… he…"

This was as far as his voice went. There it stopped. He couldn't say it. He couldn't look any longer into the eyes of the Mexican and say what he had promised to say. Somehow he had the feeling that Rey had guessed what he meant to say.

"Say it" he spoke and his voice came out strong, confident and broken all at the same time.

"Rey…"

"Please" he begged.

Dave walked between the two men trying to understand what they were talking about.

"Bobby what the hell happened to Adam?"

"He died… he was murdered…"

There it was… the void Rey had felt once before in his life. Only it wasn't the same as learning Eddie's death. This time the feeling of falling was deeper; the feeling of loosing himself went further. He only stood and looked at Bobby, his eyes now wide open, trembling with sadness that was desperately trying to come up. He wanted to ask how, when, who… he wanted to shout, yell, scream, cry… he wanted to die… He didn't remember his heart ever feeling so broken so hurt and alone as tonight. He just stood still…

"I asked you a question before" he simply said and looked at Dave who was still trying to realize what he had just heard. "I asked you what has changed, what happened…"

He stopped and a sob left his throat. Finally the tears came.

"Now I know" he added. "Now I know"

He felt his legs give up and fell on the floor barely feeling hands supporting him, helping him. His mind had stopped. His heart had stopped.

But the tears didn't stop.

They never stopped. But then again that's what it always seemed to Rey. It always felt like a lifetime of pain, hurt, tears, loneliness, death and guilt.

It always felt like revenge, like a sin, like a mistake.

It never felt good afterwards. It never felt a sweet taste in his mouth. Everything in his life left bitter, rotten taste. And he couldn't help but feel guilty, responsible, useless…

He couldn't help but hate himself.

And the tears flowed like rivers.

And all he wanted was to die.

All he wanted was to end his life.

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Do not stand at my grave and weep,  
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glint on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,  
I am the swift, uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circling flight.  
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.  
I am not there, I do not sleep.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry.  
I am not there, I did not die!

Mary Elizabeth Frye - Do not Stand at my Grave and Weep (written 1932) 


	6. Chapter 5 rEqUieM foR a dReAM

**Chapter 5 - rEqUieM foR a dReAM**

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**WARNING: Slash **

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Tears of ice

Falling down

My cheeks forming a lake

In its surface

I see your face

And I watch it till it's gone

There were times

All I did was cry out your name

Only thing I feel now

Is pain…

Tears office

Frozen heart

Icy drops fall to the ground

Forming stream

Golden dream

That will lead me to your door

There were times

All I did was cry out your name

Only thing I feel now

Is pain…

Baby you should see

What you did to me

Now I am crying

Tears of ice

Baby you should feel

Like I felt in those days

Now I am crying

Tears of ice

**Stratovarius -Tears of Ice (taken from their CD DREAMSPACE)**

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A familiar smell came to him; an odour he had almost forgotten.

Almost…

He tried to ignore it but the smell was getting stronger. He had no choice but to acknowledge it.

The air smelt of earth; like the soil did after the rain; and he would have liked it if it didn't also carry traces of wildflowers, blood, sweat and semen. In his mind this is how death smelt. And he hated it.

He hated it because this is how the air smelt when Henry and Anderson had carried him outside the cabin to finish him off. This is how the ground had smelt when Henry had flipped him over and started to rape him, hoping Rey would soon die… hoping he would soon enjoy fucking a corpse.

He hated it because this was the last thing he remembered feeling just before his strength had given up… right before he thought he had died.

The stench grew and so did the smell of death. But he didn't dare move. Instead he opened his eyes. There was a purple flower just in front of his face; a crumpled, bloodied, dry, dead flower. It was then he figured he was lying on the ground, chest down. This was the same position he last recalled being in, back in that forest right before he had wished for death to come and save him at last from the torture Henry was putting him through. A shiver emerged from within and he didn't want to stay any longer like this; too many memories he had tried far too hard to put behind. Hesitantly, he sat up. He wasn't surprised to verify his suspicion; he was back in the fields, back where Henry had taken him; too close to the cabin of hell.

Unexpectedly, he didn't panic like he thought he would if he ever got back to that cursed place. Instead he took to his surroundings. The sun was setting slowly in the horizon and despite the cold, the few remaining sunrays were enough to warm his heart and keep him calm. The trees loomed above him, tall, thick, green and dark. This spot looked so familiar… he knew this was the place he had almost died.

Almost…

This time however, he was alone. He couldn't figure out how he got there. Why? And he didn't care enough to be alarmed. He just stayed like this until the sun had completely set; until the cold pierced his bones and the night moist made the foul smell of the rotten earth stronger. He wanted to stand up and get away from there thinking that this cold was bad for his lungs, thinking that if Adam found out he was there, in the dark in the cold with nothing on but a t-shirt, he would get mad and Rey would never hear the end of his whining and scolding.

By the end of his thoughts, the moon had risen high in the dark sky shedding a peculiar silver blue light. He still sat alone… he was certain he was waiting for something, only he didn't know what. He heard footsteps near him, coming from somewhere ahead. His heart was pounding fast and hard and he thought that any moment now it would just leap out of his chest.

Then he appeared. His hands brushed aside a few bushes and branches standing in his way and he came to stand in front of him.

"Adam" he just whispered in awe.

Adam was right there, with him… kneeling in front of him…

So alive…

And so beautiful.

And he was smiling. His eyes shining and glowing unnaturally bright… but he was smiling…

"My God you are so beautiful tonight" Rey muttered and he wanted to cry.

Adam smiled widely and let his face come close to Rey's. He brought his hands and clasped the Mexican's smooth neck. He came close and put a soft kiss of his lips; soft and slow like he always loved to do. Rey surrendered to his touch; he closed his eyes and gave in. He wanted this so much; he wanted this now. Their kiss deepened and slowly their tongues found their way inside, exploring each other's mouths like it was the first time they had kissed. Rey felt waves of love, passion and lust surfacing with the force of a thunderstorm. He wanted to reach out and touch the Canadian; reach out caress him, feel him…

Just one last time…

Adam's lips where soft. His hands tracing slowly down to Rey's back were warm and silky. He leaned forward and Rey didn't resist. He let himself lay down on the ground with Adam on top. They kissed like they were the last two people on the face of the earth. Rey just held onto Adam's body like his life depended on it and didn't care if his hold was causing pain to Adam's flesh. For that moment all sound seemed to fade in the distance. Rey could not hear the sounds of the forest any more. The foul smell seemed to be gone as well. All that mattered was the man on top of him… all he loved was him. He trembled when Adam's hands found their way under his t-shirt. His fingers were so soft.

But so cold; so very cold…

And he simply didn't care. It was enough for him to be again with the man he loved more than his life. Rey moaned raucously when Adam touched his chest and softly pinched his nipples. The Canadian moved his body closer still and his body connected with the Mexican's. As Adam continued to touch and caress him, his kiss became fiercer, more eager and wanting. Rey could feel that Adam wanted this as much as he did. He couldn't wait any longer. He released his hold from Adam's flesh and moved his hands downwards to his pants. Frantically he fumbled with Adam's jeans but quickly he managed to open the zipper and slide his hand inside. When his fingers met the soft skin of Adam's penis his heard skipped a beat upon hearing the blond man moan in his mouth. He tightened his grip and started to jerk him off. His movements were gentle and slow at first, teasing him, loving him the way only he knew.

Adam broke his kiss and looked deeply into Rey making him shiver for a moment as the Mexican thought he saw a shadow pass before his lover's eyes. But the feeling passed as soon as it had come. Adam closed his magnificent eyes when Rey started pumping harder and faster.

"I want you tonight" Rey whispered to him and him alone. And Adam opened his eyes and looked down at him with so much love and passion like Rey never remembered ever feeling.

He removed his hands from Adam's cock when Adam came to his knees and started to unbutton Rey's jeans. The flustered cheeks of the taller man as well as his fast hot breath betrayed him in more ways than one. Quickly his jeans and underwear were off and Rey thought he never had felt so hot in his life. Adam didn't have to touch him long for his own cock become hard. So when he felt Adam's lips touch the sensitive skin his mouth opened up to a hard moan. He reached his hand and entangled his fingers in the golden locks of his head while Adam's tongue was kissing the tip of his penis playfully. He breathed harder and when Adam's mouth swallowed the entire length of Rey's with one fast movement Rey actually screamed in pleasure and let his body fall down on the soil. Adam's lips worked faster making lustful sucking sounds and Rey thought he lost the world from under him when he felt a finger slip inside the crevice of his anus. Adam sucked faster and pumped him with one hand while he used his other hand to find the spot inside Rey, the spot that melt his insides and made him want more… always more. When Adam found the sweet spot and he used his finger to touch it, Rey's eyes closed tightly and bit and bottom lip trying his best not to spill his seed right there and then.

"I want you tonight…" he said again. This time he added "I want you inside me".

Adam smiled widely and came back against Rey's body. His cock rubbed against Rey's hard on and both men kissed soulfully.

"I need you so much tonight"

"I need you always" is what Adam replied.

He brought the tip of his cock to the entrance of Rey's anus and slowly pushed inside. Rey didn't feel any pain, only love and desire. When Adam pushed deeper Rey only moaned loader. The tightness of the luchador sent Adam into trance. He had to fight really hard not to close his eyes and give in completely into this dance. He forced himself to keep his eyes open and look at his lover while he made love to him.

Rey couldn't help but look at the man above him, the one that made him feel so good, the one who knew uniquely how to touch him, where to touch him and how to love him. Adam's movements started to accelerate and he pushed forward letting Rey's body accept all his length.

The Mexican felt a new wave of lust flowing into every muscle of his body as soon as Adam's cock touched again his prostate. A burning sensation travelled from his anus to his brain and back down to his cock and when Adam started to pound him harder and harder, hitting his spot again and again. He lost all ability to speak and he could only breathe and speak incomprehensible words.

"I love you so much" was all he could really mutter when Adam looked deeply into his dark eyes. The blond man reached his hand and took Rey's. He knew he couldn't hold on much longer and no matter how badly he wanted this to last for ever the sensation was far too sensuous for him to make his wish come true.

The constant pounding of his prostate and the sexually arousing sound of flesh hitting flesh, the sound of his breath and the touch of his hands brought Rey to the point of no return.

It wasn't long until they were both moving together, heated moist skin meeting as they panted and whimpered at the hands roaming their bodies, movement fluctuating between fast and frantic to loving and slow, one of their hands always locked with their lover's as they rocked to completion, Rey throwing his head back as he cried out, legs wrapped around Adam's waist and him, opening his mouth in a silent shout as his wings extended out at the moment of climax.

As they collapsed together Rey kept his arms and legs wrapped tightly round his lover and he closed his eyes as he smiled feeling more at peace than he had in a felt in a while.

He soon felt hot moist lips brushing against his sweating face, tasting him, savouring him, mapping him… Those lips he had kissed so many times… He found himself wishing they would kiss him again, one last time; and that last time, it would be forever; that last time, he wouldn't have to wake up to the sad reality that awaited him but instead to a dream word where he would be united with Adam for all eternity.

A bitterness rose in his heart as Rey forced himself to break their kiss long enough to look again deeply into Adam's eyes and shivering ask

"Why are you here?"

Adam smiled again. His smile was sweet and gentle. And his eyes still shone.

"You brought me here"

Rey kept looking as if he didn't understand a word he had just heard.

"I don't… I don't understand" he muttered, afraid of the answer he would get.

"My king…" he said and touched Rey's cheek softly "You brought me here… in your dream…"

Part of him didn't want to understand it. But the bitterness in is heart was overflowing him making him almost taste it. He had to fight real hard to find his voice again and make it come out strong.

"This… this isn't real?"

Adam just nodded.

"But… it… you… feel so real"

"No my king… this is a dream"

"It can't be…" he said and shut he eyes firmly refusing to believe it because the truth was right there staring him in the eyes.

"Oscar. Please open your eyes and look at me" Adam spoke softly and let his fingers touch the beautiful face.

Always the use of his birth name had a bizarre effect on him. He looked up again into the blonde's eyes. He wanted to cry.

"I am looking at you. You are here… I touch you… I feel you… I …. I love you…"

"My king… my love… you hurt… you are in pain… I am here in your dream and in your heart, and here alone is where you will find me… because…"

"No… don't say it" Rey cut him off not wishing to hear the harsh truth. "Don't say it… don't speak it… I beg you…"

Tears rolled freely at last.

And they burned.

"...because I…"

"No… please…"

"Am"

"No"

"Dead"

Rey just fell silent, but the tears still came like waves crushing against the rocks. His hands still gripped Adam and his eyes closed again, giving into to sobs and the hurt.

"How can you be dead? How can you leave me here? Alone!" he finally found the strength and yelled. "What will I do? I cannot exist without you? I am not complete without you. I cannot live without you… I survived because of you…"

"No, my love… you survived because you were strong… you still are strong. You never needed me to be whole. Know that I loved you till my dying breath. I died never regretting one moment we had together. But the love you give, you take it with you…"

The sobs hadn't slowed down, and the tears still blurred his vision.

"What are you sayin'?"

"Oscar… I loved you from the first time I saw you until the last moment of my existence. I died with your name on my lips. But I am gone now, and you… you have to go on without me…"

"I don't want to go on… I want to be with you…"

"But we can not. I know how much this hurts you…"

"No…" Rey cut him off. His hands let go of their hold of Adam's flesh and became fists. "You told me you will never leave me… you said you will love me forever."

"I know… and I meant every word I said. And I'm sorry to leave you behind like this, in a time when you need me…"

Adam broke their contact and knelt in front of the laying form of his partner.

Rey alarmed kneeled too and his eyes frantically searched for Adam's. When Adam spoke again, his voice came out sad.

"My love… I have to go…"

"No don't… please no…" Rey begged and grabbed Adam's arm, pleading him to stay… hoping to make him stay.

"I love you Rey Rey; more than you can ever imagine" and Adam's voice broke.

"Then take me with you. Let me be with you forever."

"We will be together… someday… I promise you…I will see you again king of my heart…" and took Rey's face in his hands. To Rey, those fingers had become suddenly colder than ice. He felt that the end was approaching. "But you have to live… do you hear me? You have to live…"

"I don't want to live without you… please don't go…"

"You have to let me go…"

Rey could no longer speak. His voice was lost in a torrent of pain, tears and hopelessness. But he held on to Adam's arm firmly.

"Please Rey… if you love me, you have to let me go or there will be no peace of mind for you. And I can't bear to feel you suffer."

He pulled his arm free of Rey's hold. If there was ever a moment when Rey was broken hearted, this was it. His face was wet from the tears reaching down his neck; his chest was heaving violently from the strain and the hurt; his body was shaking from the loss of touch. He already felt empty and alone.

Adam stood up and took a few steps back towards the bushes he had emerged from. Rey still on his knees looked pleadingly at him refusing still to accept the truth.

"You know I will always love you… and I know you do too. But you are not alone…" and he smiled. "There are people who love you"

"But… I only…want you…" Rey whispered between sobs

Adam grinned the way he used to when he had done some mischief and was proud of it.

"But I am gone. And you must live… there are people who love you my king… love you as much as I love you. Don't waste your life mourning… live and love…"

He took another step back. The silver blue light of the moon seemed amplified in the darkness of the forest and Adam appeared to be fading slowly into the light. Rey wanted to get up and follow him so bad but his legs didn't obey his will. He was too heartbroken to move.

Another step and he was in the bushes. He took one last look at Rey and turned his back.

Rey's heart screamed for him to get up and run after him, join him in death, but again his muscles seemed to be paralysed.

Adam vanished in the thick leafage of the forest and in the darkness without looking back.

And Rey was still down on the ground, kneeling like he did when he was a little boy when he prayed to God. When Adam's image vanished completely out of his sight, his mind broke down; he kneeled deeper with his head in his hands… with his head on the ground… weeping hopelessly… endlessly.

"I love you" he whispered but Adam was gone. He couldn't hear him any more.

"I love you" he kept muttering over and over again until all his senses were gone, until all sounds stopped and all that remained was his empty self and infinite woe.

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	7. Chapter 6 nO prAYer foR tHe dYiNG

**Chapter 6-nO pRAyEr foR thE dyInG**

He was not alone although he wished to be; now more than ever. But he wasn't. The strange smell of the hotel corridor, a weird mix of bleach and flowers made his stomach turn. The hushed voices of people he knew and had wrestled many times with were loud to his ears. The news had quickly spread.

'Naturally! What did you expect?'

Dave stood outside Rey's room waiting, a bit withdrawn from the others.

'Waiting for what? Fool!' he thought. He bit his tongue hard almost making it bleed. Lord knew how much he wished to taste blood… how much he wished to hurt… be in pain… suffer like Rey.

When Bobby had come in the room and told them about Adam's death, it was the saddest and hardest thing Dave had ever had to witness. It felt like a void had opened up and was rapidly swallowing them. He felt like falling and he couldn't help but wonder if Rey had felt the same way. The depth of Rey's pain was something he could not handle.

Or so he thought.

But there he was; outside Rey's room, waiting for the doctor to come out. And the feeling of falling into the emptiness still shook him to his core.

It had not been a pretty sight to behold. Rey had just collapsed on the floor; neither Bobby nor himself were able to console him. He had just broken down… literally. His legs had given away to the weight of news of Adam's death and he had just fallen on the carpet like a ragged doll. Dave had never seen a man break down like this before. And he thought he had seen pain and suffering in his life.

'Apparently you were wrong' the little evil voice spoke in his head.

He clenched his hands into fists. If there was a word that could describe him right now was 'helpless'. He was used to being a strong, big man, capable of handling everything that came his way, but this was beyond his abilities. How could he console the man he loved from the passing of his lover? He loved Rey so much but he didn't want to take advantage of his frailty. He knew all too well how much Rey loved Adam. But he also knew how much he himself loved the smaller man.

He had never felt so torn in his life.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He had been so close to telling Rey everything… Everything! What he felt, how long, how much… the whole thing when Bobby had brought the news. He couldn't help but wonder what Rey's reaction would have been if he knew the depths of his feelings. He couldn't help but wonder also if what had happened between Rey, himself and that fucking talisman was because of Adam's death.

He hated being in the dark. He also hated what was happening to him. But most of all… above all else he hated not knowing what the doctor was doing all this time in Rey's room. His memory drifted to the events that had occurred about an hour ago.

The moment Rey had heard about Adam's murder, he had fallen on the floor. Dave had rushed to help him… support him… but Rey didn't want to be touched by anyone. He had pushed Dave away violently and kept rocking back and forth, on his knees crying desperately his hands covering his ears. Nothing they told him got through. Dave couldn't even understand what Rey was mumbling under his breath. It was when Rey uttered a heart shattering cry they decided to call the doctor.

The last time Dave saw Rey, he was still sobbing uncontrollably. The doctor along with Bobby were easing Rey to his bed. Bobby Lashley had joined him a while later saying that the doc wanted privacy.

'What is he doing?'

Dave's patience was running out when he heard his cell phone ring in his pocket. Without looking for caller I.D. he just answered it.

"Yeah?" he simply asked.

"Hey Dave… this is John"

Dave was surprised to hear John Cena on the phone.

"Hey John" he responded softly.

"How's it going down there?"

"Like shit… what do you think?" he said sounding a bit more hostile than he meant to.

"Rey?"

That word… again… that name… it always felt like a knife in his heart.

"I don't know"

"What?"

"Doc is still inside"

"So he knows… wow…" Cena paused. "How do you deal with a thing like this?"

"Listen John… do you know any more details about Edge's murder?" Dave asked although he wasn't sure he wanted to know any details.

Cena didn't answer immediately. Dave had the feeling that John had been with a crowd and was searching for more privacy to respond. When all other sound faded away, John gave his answer.

"I don't know man… the things they've been sayin'… it's crazy… I don't know how much of it is true. The police is talking to everyone here."

"John… just tell me… I can't do this much longer" Batista said desperately and wearily.

"They say it was two guys… forensics just matched the semen found on Adam to a man called Henry Jordan. I heard them tell Vince he was one of the men who had taken Rey some time ago… Dave… I thought it was all a lie… a rumor… Rey had denied all these officially…"

"No…" was all Dave could say.

"No? You mean… it is true? All the rumors?"

"Everything the papers wrote is the truth…"

"How do you know?"

"Eddie…"

Dave still recalled a night when Eddie had confessed the whole thing to him, making him promise at the end never to tell. It was right after the London events. Eddie felt they owed him an explanation and unbeknown to Rey, he had told him the story so far. John had fallen silent trying to digest the news.

"John! What else are they saying?"

"Uh… they said he wasn't alone. He must have had help from a second guy. They still don't know who he is. His fingerprints were not on the police data base."

"Have they talked to you yet?"

"Yeah… they…"

"What is it John?" Dave asked his voice lowering as he sensed discomfort to the other man.

"I didn't see the body myself… Shawn Michaels did… I only saw the few pictures they showed me but I couldn't make much of it… you should really talk to him…"

"John! I am talking to you now!" Dave commanded and his speech drew attention from the crowd in the corridor. He stepped away just to make sure he had the privacy he needed and not to make a fool of himself in public.

"Dave they didn't say much I swear it. They just told me was brutally raped and murdered. They asked me if he had any enemies, people who hated him or wanted him dead… you know? I told them what I knew… that in our line of work we may seem evil and we may have many feuds with other wrestlers but it's all an act. Nothing is real in the ring. Backstage everyone liked Adam. Recently Adam was a big success as a heel. I told them that it had been a while since the WWE had seen a heel so much hated by the crowd."

"Do they think the men who killed him were fans?"

"At the time they were searching every possible angle. I told them that wrestling fans know that the history behind every feud is staged, that none of it is real… then during the interrogation, they received the forensics report and that's how I learned about Henry Jordan. I asked them about it but they refused to tell me anything else. Then they spoke to Shawn."

"Have you spoken to him?"

Cena took a moment to gather his thoughts and continue. The last few phrases had come out in a hurry. Dave understood that John hadn't spoken to anybody about it yet. The news were so hard to bear for everyone. He didn't know how he would be able to handle it if he had been the one to find the mangled body.

"No I haven't. I saw him from a distance but he wasn't in any shape to talk to anyone. Triple H was with him, and I think he was the only one he spoke to. I don't know what he told the police or even if he could tell them anything. After a while HHH took him to his room and they haven't come out since."

"That bad?" Dave asked. He rubbed his forehead thinking how he wrong he had been. He believed that things here were hard. Other there, things were a disaster.

"Yeah… listen… I called to tell you about the funeral"

Dave stopped breathing. He bit again his tongue desperate to draw blood… hurt. His voice had given up.

"The funeral will be held this Sunday in his home town, Orangeville, near Ontario in Canada. I just thought you should know… and maybe tell the… the others if they want to come… I know Rey Rey will want to be there." His voice faded in the end. Dave had still to find his voice.

"I just thought that… you know… he shouldn't be alone in a time like this" John completed.

Dave opened his mouth to speak but at that exact moment Rey's hotel room door opened and the doctor came out.

"Listen John… Don't worry about Rey Rey… we won't leave him alone. I have to go. The doc just came out and I have to speak to him"

Not waiting for an answer he hung up and stepped closer to the doctor.

"How is he doc?" Bobby asked. Booker T was there too and next to him stood Matt Hardy, Michael Cole and JBL.

Dave came close soon enough to heat the doctor answer.

"He had a fever but I gave him a sedative to drop his temperature and calm him down; help him get some rest. He is going to be sleeping for a while so you should leave him for the moment. One of you should stay with him and keep an eye. The shock is still too big for him and I'm afraid of what will happen when he wakes up."

"I'll stay" Dave volunteered, his brain never registering the words as they came out of his mouth. The doc nodded and before leaving, he added.

"I have left some sedatives on the night stand. Give him one as soon as he wakes up and then one every eight hours until the bottle runs out…" he looked straight into Dave's eyes meaningfully. "Loosing a dear friend is a difficult thing to handle once… let alone twice… Don't be afraid to ask for professional help. Your friend might need it" He squeezed Dave's arm and walked away with JBL escorting him out, while thanking him. When they disappeared around the corner, Dave turned around and looked at the remaining men. They all looked terrible, afraid maybe but definitely worried.

"Funeral is this Sunday in Orangeville." He sadly stated and opening the door stepped inside the room.

When he closed the door behind him, he was greeting by the coldness and the darkness of the room. He felt like the temperature had dropped drastically and a shiver ran through his body. He walked decisively towards the bed and spotted the pills. Next to the night stand lay Rey… asleep, but not peacefully. Dave swallowed down the bitterness in his throat and sat next to him. Rey was sweating in his sleep, as the nightmares were gripping his heart. Dave wanted to wake him up and help him shake the bad dream away but he refrained. Instead he brought his hand up and caressed Rey's forehead. His fingers traced softly his brows, his cheeks and his jaw line. The slippery skin lead his fingers down to Rey's neck, marveling at its softness and then they came to rest on his chest… on his heart; a heart he wanted to beat for him and no other; one that was broken now; a heart that now lay in crystalline dust. Dave genuinely hated himself for thinking of his own self and interest in a time like this, but he couldn't help it. He was about to stand up when a he heard Rey talk in his sleep.

"No don't… please no…"

Those words froze him.

"…take me with you… please don't go…"

He mumbled as his head arched up against the pillow. His hands were gripping at the sheet and his knuckles had become white. Dave could feel his own tears falling. So much pain was more than he could stand. He wished to hold Rey in his arms and take it all away. He knew he could comfort him and make it all better if only he could just hold him; if only Rey would let him.

"But… I only…want you…" Rey spoke again and his chest heaved desperately. "I love you" he spoke and he sobbed as his dream was reaching its zenith. Dave again touched Rey's forehead and drew it back immediately when the fever burned him like flaming iron. The doc had told him about the fever but Dave couldn't just sit back and watch. He stood up and took a washcloth from the bathroom. He wetted it with cold water and brought it on Rey's forehead. The contact of the cold cloth with the burning skin had the desired effect as Rey stopped tossing and turning and the sobs died down.

As calmness came upon Rey's sleep Dave couldn't help but sigh in relief. A faint smile appeared in the corner of his lips and his heart started to beat normally again. Seeing Rey writhing and suffering even in his sleep was hard but as tranquillity returned, even if it was drug induced, it all became more apparent.

How much he loved Rey! This time he was happy he was able to identify his feelings. When Rey hurt, Dave's heart cried; when Rey was calm, he was peaceful;

'I guess that's what it means to love someone'

He could only hope that Rey someday would allow him to love him back. He just wished that Adam didn't have to die. In fact he found himself whishing the Canadian was still alive. He preferred living a lifetime alone and in pain than having Rey put through so much suffering. He would rather spend a lifetime waiting and loving him secretly than this… even if THIS gave him a chance to someday fulfil his dream.

He always hated himself every time his thoughts lead him to paths like these. He felt like a predator. And he hated predators.

He looked at the sleeping form of the luchador. The dark grip of his nightmare had faded a while ago and now he was resting as peacefully as he could, oblivious of his surroundings. Dave was sure that despite the nightmare, if it were up to Rey, this dream would never be over. The words he had spoken had made it clear of who he had been dreaming. The closed eyes of the Mexican welled up again and a silent tear slipped, but no sobs came. Dave leaned over and carefully as not to wake him up, kissed it away.

"I love you Oscar" he whispered, his voice a little louder that the murmur of the wind. "I wish you knew how much"

But Rey still laid asleep unaware of the words outside his dream… a dream he truly didn't want to end no matter what. But the dream did end and the coldness of loneliness came to nest in his heart. He shivered in his sleep and turned to his side trying subconsciously to warm up. Dave brought the blanket and covered him up gently.

Rey still shivered for hours to come and Dave knew it wasn't from the fever. But he stayed by his side.

He leaned and lay close to him. He took him in his arms and closed his eyes but never fell asleep. Instead of sleeping, he took a silent deep breath and tried to kill the sobs that were now coming to the surface. His tears fell of the pillow noticed by no one but himself and they had dried long before Rey woke up.

But until the time of the awakening all Dave could do was wait and pray.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

I know you hear me

I can taste it in your dreams

Closing your eyes to disappear

You pray your dreams will leave you here

But still you wake and know the truth

No one's there

Say goodnight

Don't be afraid

Calling me calling me as you fade to black

Evanescence-My last breath (written by Ben Moody)


	8. Chapter 7 nIgHT WonDeRiNgs

**Chapter 7-nIgHT WonDeRiNgs**

Like the waters of the deepest darkest seas had opened up forming a giant wall around him ready waiting any minute to break down and swallow him completely, annihilating him, Rey felt the next days pass him by slowly, quietly and deathly still. The walls of his room felt like they were ready to fall down on him and although he hated them to the point of madness, there was one thing he hated more… And that was going out and face the world.

From the moment he learned the news about Adam's passing, Rey never left his room, refused to answer any questions or talk to anybody for that matter, eat and sleep. Except from the first night where the doctor had given him sedatives to calm his nerves down and sleep, Rey had barely had a couple of hours of sleep in the next four days. The windows of his room had always the blinds closed never letting any light in and he was always either lying on his bed or sitting on the floor starring at the empty wall.

And always in the darkness.

Always alone

Always in silent tears.

He never answered to the people knocking on his door and the only ones that he accepted inside were Dave Batista, Bobby Lashley and Michael Cole. Sometimes he acknowledged their presence by giving them a most blank stare, other times he seemed not hear them at all speaking to him and other times he looked at them hatefully.

But there was only one person he would always let touch him, help him to bed; one person he sometimes allowed give him some food and water; and to everyone's surprise, that person was Dave Batista. The care with which he treated the Mexican, the patience he possessed and the willingness he showed was a mystery to everyone and Dave wasn't sure that Rey actually had any clue what was going on whatsoever. So he kept to himself, pretending he was just a friend who cared. He didn't talk about his feelings to anyone. He was truly happy Rey was letting him take care of him… be close to him.

But there were three things everyone dreaded. One was the house show dedicated to Adam Copeland. Like the one dedicated to Eddie, this one was promising to be a hard one to watch or take part in; especially with all the rumors surrounding Adam's murder and his relationship with Rey Mysterio. The question every one seemed to be asking was not if Rey would be in shape to take part in the show as part of a match but if he would even be able to show up at all. However, by the end of the second day since the dreadful event, the doctor told them that Rey was in no mental and psychological condition to socialize with anyone. The medication he was being given were just too strong and for the time being he could not afford not to take them.

"If he doesn't take them his nervous system will go on overdrive. In cases like this, there is no way in telling how the patient will react. But in Oscar's case I fear the worst, given his medical history… if he stops the meds there is no guarantee how he will react. He might return back to normal, or he might just break down, commit suicide or even become catatonic…"

Dave's brain was ringing with these words for days to come. They had shaken him to his core and made him afraid for the life of his secret love. Since the doc told him his prognosis, he barely left Rey's side, not caring of what the roster said and speculated. But by that time, it was a little too late. The rumors were already running wild.

But he didn't care.

Not now at least.

The second thing they all were afraid of was the police investigation and what it would show. A small selected group of people on Smackdown knew the true story behind Rey and Adam's past and most of those who knew had either died or retired or left for RAW or for another wrestling brand. Those who remained were Batista and Michael Cole. Vince of course knew and he figured that this is how Cole had found out in the first place. But this time the cause of death was murder and not natural causes…

Murder… what a strange word. It always sounded so distant to him, to his life. He had seen death, but murder? Now that it had happened so close to him it was bizarre to think about it. It made him afraid not for his own safety but rather for the safety of his beloved ones. And as the days passed and the funeral was coming fast towards them, they were allowed momentarily to forget the word 'murder'. But Rey could not forget. Everyone doubted he would ever forget. But no one dared come close. They all just stood and waited; all of them… all but him…

He shuddered to think what would happen should any details of the murder got out to the press or worse, if Rey somehow found them out; what it would do to him to know every piece of information… because as the days go on, he will eventually want to know… and then what?

But he couldn't help wonder who had done such a thing. And he couldn't stop his mind from wondering why and how. He had a feeling that one way or another they would one day find out every single gruesome detail.

The third one they feared was the funeral. 'Feared' was a strong word because most of them were just numb. Dave had the chance to chat with Michael Cole and Bobby and they had all agreed that this funeral would be a hard ceremony to attend to. And Dave secretly feared for Rey's sanity.

And the day was coming. To them time passed so quickly and they wished they had some more time to adjust and let Rey adjust to the new reality.

……

To Rey time had stopped. He could not tell the difference between day and night, sun and darkness, minutes and seconds… life and death. Nobody could even begin to guess what was going on in his mind. Not even those closest to him. As he sat in his darkened room, his mind could only focus in one thing; the dream he had some nights ago. He found it weird that he did so. He wanted to remember other times they had lived together, real moments they had shared, real touches, real words… but as hard as he tried, his mind kept wondering back to that particular dream.

When a knock came to his door, he didn't bother stand up or even acknowledge the noise. He had heard it alright, it's just he didn't want to move from his position on the floor; he didn't want to take his eyes off the wall he had been staring for hours on end. Perhaps he didn't want to. He knew who it was anyway.

Dave walked inside and timidly sat next to Rey like he had done so many times before. The luchador had one of his masks in hand, a black one he rarely wore because, like he had said, it looked a little funereal.

When Rey spoke, it seemed like he hadn't spoken in ages. His voice had lost some of its familiarity and it came out rasp and confused.

"What did you want to say that night?"

"What do you mean?" Dave asked not really understanding the question.

"Just before Bobby came a few nights ago to tell us about Adam's death…"

Dave shivered at the use of the word 'death'. No one dared use it in front of Rey and he couldn't fight off a coldness spreading in his body upon hearing such blunt words being spoken. But the way he spoke them… he sounded cold, distant and not broken like he would have expected the Mexican to be.

"What about that night?"

"You said that since London something had woken up inside you… that you had finally found the strength to tell me."

Dave took his eyes off of Rey and looked at the floor. It was uncomfortable enough having to sit down like this, but having the intense gaze of Rey on him was more than he could stand.

"Can you tell me now?" Rey pleaded.

Dave didn't think this was the right moment to share his feelings; maybe it had been back then, but certainly not now.

"I… I don't think it's important" he stuttered.

"No it is important… I know it. I felt it then and I can feel it now. Your eyes practically scream it"

"I wanted to tell you. I still do… but I don't think this is the right time."

"Why? Is it because he is dead?" Rey avoided using Adam's name on purpose.

Adrenaline rose in Dave's heart making his nerves tense and his muscles twitch. He looked back at Rey. In this dark blue light his beauty was so striking. Despite all this sorrow and sleeplessness Dave couldn't remember even seeing him look so beautiful.

"Yes" he whispered.

Rey leaned his head to the bed but his eyes were kept on Dave. He still had this cold and emotionless look on his face. Like he had cried all his tears; as if all his emotions had ceased to exist for this moment only leaving behind a man he didn't recognize.

A few silent moments passed and Dave not being able to stand this torture, stood up to leave. He was stopped by Rey's firm grip on his arm. When he turned his eyes at the Mexican, the sadness had returned to his face.

"Stay" he begged.

Adrenaline flooded Dave anew. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What?"

Rey's eyes had welled up and all trace of coldness had vanished. He was back to being a broken man.

"I don't want to be alone tonight. I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"I don't know… nothing and everything… it's as if there is all this rage inside me trying to get out, escape its confines but always at the last moment it stops. It is so frustrating. I guess I'm scarred of what will happen if it finally comes out."

Rey's body slouched and he sank deeper on the floor.

"I am tired… I'm always so tired… and I hurt so much."

Dave kneeled back down in front of him.

"It hurts when I close my eyes, when I'm awake… it hurts when I breathe. And I can't do this alone. I tried… but I need help… please help me… I know it is not fair to do this to you… but please… just for tonight. Will you stay?"

He loosened his grip on the bigger man.

"I'd stay with you always… you only have to ask it of me…" Dave's fingers wiped away the tears from Rey's face.

"Tomorrow we fly to Canada for the funeral and I can't face this night alone."

"I have never left you alone… and I won't leave you alone now that you need me. I need you too Oscar."

Only Dave and God knew how much he wanted to kiss Rey this moment, how much he needed to feel him. He had to use all his strength to resist. Instead he helped him up and eased him back to bed.

Rey fell tiredly on the soft mattress and closed his eyes. Feeling Dave's warmth next to him gave him a sense of security he needed so much, so when he came to lay next to him, he didn't complain.

Dave surrendered to sleep. He had managed to suppress any kind of forbidden feeling and relax. Laying down for the first time next to the man he secretly loved was difficult, but the rhythmic sound of Rey's breathing was soothing and he finally gave up to sleep.

He didn't know how long he had been sleeping. He lay on his back next to Rey and inside the darkness and the warmth of the room, in the middle of his sleep his mind barely register a soft touch on his waist. It felt like a dream, like a feeling long forgotten, like an aged beloved memory. The touch turned into a gentle caress and still Dave didn't wake up, but just the opposite. It drew him further down, further into deeper sleep. He smiled in his sleep, happy that he was able to dream this touch. It was only when this touch was accompanied by the warmth of another body pressing hard against him that his mind told him this was too real and too good to be just a dream. Only he didn't want to wake up in case this was indeed a dream. Involuntarily he pulled himself out of his sleep. And then his heart stopped beating; his breath halted in the middle of his throat.

In the gathering darkness of the room Dave couldn't tell if Rey was awake or even if he knew what he was doing. The touch was identified as the soft fingers of the luchador and the warmth was coming from his firm tattooed body. Dave's body stiffened, afraid that if he made a move Rey would stop touching him. And he certainly didn't want him to stop. Not now when those fingers had began their journey downwards. Rey pressed closer to Dave and his head that once rested on the pillow was now dangerously closer to his face. He turned to look at the luchador and see if he was awake but he was silenced; not by words, but a moan, a low whisper that emanated from Rey's lips as he pressed his body against Dave's and began rubbing his already hard cock on Dave's thigh. The bigger man had to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning. But when he felt the soft fingers finally arrive to the end of their journey, breath returned to him again. Rey was still grinding his hard cock greedily but what drove Dave wild was Rey's hand. Sometime between the moans and the grinding, he had managed to slip his hand inside Dave's underwear and he was now beginning to stroke him.

Rey's hot breath felt like fire and Dave once again turned to look at the man he loved. He wasn't prepared to feel Rey's lips kiss his own but he didn't resist much. He opened his mouth and welcomed his tongue inside, letting Rey taste him, trace every inch of his mouth. His soft tongue and his strong lips were so dominant, so powerful that made Dave give up. He didn't need Rey jerk him off for his own cock become hard as rock.

But there he was; still grinding, rubbing his hard cock against him, kissing him so fiercely, lustfully and touching him so wantonly. His fingers had a firm grip on his hard dick and he was jerking him off sensually. It made him go crazy.

And this never ending kiss… the way Rey's mouth tasted, the way his tongue moved and his soft lips swallowed him… Hesitantly Dave reached out and touched Rey's shoulder pushing him gently to his back without breaking their kiss or the touch. Gently he brought himself on top of Rey and it was only then he realized that sometime in the middle of the night, Rey feeling hot and horny had taken off his own underwear. The sight of Rey's throbbing long cock dripping already with pre-cum was enough to drive him over the edge. He pulled Rey's hand from his cock and removed his own pants and underwear.

All reason, all logic and notion was gone. Dave had still no idea why Rey was doing this. He only knew what his senses told him, what his fingers touched and his mouth tasted. Nothing more and nothing less. He vaguely remembered wishing he wouldn't regret this later, but even this thought vanished when Rey kissed him.

Dave reached and touched Rey. His hand touched sweating skin, he touched his nipples and broke their kiss long enough to come down and bite them. Rey's hands mingled Batista's hair as he kept kissing his nipples, savoring them. Rey arched his body up and his cock rubbed against Dave's body, indicating how much he wanted and longed for a touch.

He stopped just enough to catch his breath and try to focus. Rey was still under him, moaning and the hands that once were touching Dave were now roaming freely on his own body slowly finding their way to his hard cock. Dave's heart beat faster and faster lust, passion and pleasure coming all at once. Watching Rey jerk off made him become harder; but what really blew his mind was seeing him penetrate two slick fingers in his won ass.

Dave buried his face in Rey's shoulder and gripped his ass, moulding and squeezing it as he ground down into him, sliding his erection against Rey's beneath him. He took his mouth in a searing kiss and felt him respond eagerly, their tongues swirling in heat and passion, sliding over each other breathlessly.

Dave broke away and dipped his head to suck again a nipple as his hand reached lower to gently stroke Rey's opening making him moan. He nudged at the opening, taking Rey's mouth again as his finger breached the tight opening for the first time. Rey gasped and wrenched his mouth from Dave's as he arched away from the other man's hand.

Rey bit his lip in pleasure as Dave's finger slid in a little further. He tensed, clutching the sheets, and his breath quickened desire hitting him in waves.

Dave started to move his finger slowly, gently stroking the inner walls, curling his finger looking for the magic spot. His own cock jumped in anticipation when he found it because Rey arched up off the bed and begged.

"Please…"

Dave moved his finger a little faster, brushing over the sensitive bundle of nerves with each stroke. Rey moaned and thrashed on the bed.

"More… please!"

Dave pulled out and added another finger, which the Mexican accepted willingly, spreading his legs wider, opening himself to the sensation. Dave gently scissored the tight ring of muscle while continuing to stimulate Rey's prostate with each stroke. He carefully added a third finger, stretching and moving until Rey could take it in easily.

Once more Dave came down to Rey's writhing body and kissed him fiercely. And Rey accepted him and kissed him back. He withdrew his fingers, pressed Rey's knees up toward his chest and, lining himself up, he slowly entered him.

Dave's moan was something less of a scream, but then again so was Rey's. The bigger man had never felt something quite similar to this before. Rey's ass was so hot and tight, his skin was so soft and his mouth so delicious.

Rey gasped with the first feeling of penetration. Dave gently pushed in all the way and paused to allow Rey to adjust to the new feeling. He pulled Rey's legs around his waist and immediately Rey clamped his heels into Dave's back, pulling him in deeper.

Rey melted under Dave, lost in a world of sensation and sensuality.

Dave started a gentle rocking motion and Rey cried out with pleasure. Batista groaned and started thrusting slowly, but his self control was quickly shattered by Rey's moans and he was pounding into the smaller man hitting his prostate with each thrust. Rey moaned lustfully, thrusting his hips up to meet Dave. Dave pulled one of Rey's legs up over his shoulder, fucking him hard, grinding him into the bed. He reached for Rey's cock with one hand, stroking him in time to his thrusts.

Dave felt Rey grabbing his hips with his shaking fingers. He was close, so close and feeling Rey around his cock, the sensation was almost too much to take, the intensity building to a crescendo. His face was tense as his balls collided with Rey's ass with a slap at every thrust. Dave almost sobbed with relief as he began to thrust harder into Rey's willing body, feeling him arch up to meet each stroke. He had wanted this for so long and to know that Rey desired him just as much was nearly overpowering. His movement around Rey's cock became faster and in time with his thrusts. It was too much and Rey arched his body, coming with a loud cry, spilling hot liquid over Dave's hand and his own stomach. At that, Dave lowered himself so he was sliding in the cum spilled across Rey's stomach and braced himself, his breathing erratic and his hips banging into Rey as he came hard.

When all was done, still in the thick shadows of the room, no one spoke. Dave managed to put his breathing under control and slip out of Rey's body and lie down next to him. At this Rey turned to his side facing him. Sweat was running down his face and he too was still breathless. It was only then that Dave saw Rey's eyes. A part of him was so happy to see he was awake and fully aware of what they had done. But another part of him, a voice in his mind warned him of the repercussions of their act. It told him to fear.

But those eyes, they still burned like hot coals boring abysmal holes into his soul and tore his heart apart. He looked into Rey's eyes expecting to see disdain, regret even hate, but none of those showed. Instead Rey was looking at him with tears in his eyes but at the same time with a sense of peace and calm. Dave could not understand what to make out of this. He just wanted to hold Rey until the end of time; stay in his arms and be together. But he didn't make a move, the small voice still warning him, preventing him, telling him that if Rey wanted more he would ask it.

Silent tears ran down the Mexican's face and he tried really hard to suppress a sob that rose to his throat. At this Dave reached out his hand and touched his face, wiping away the hot tears. The contact with the skin and the warm salty tears nearly broke him. At this moment he felt so complete and so full; so happy… he just prayed it would last a little longer. The way Rey was looking at him right this moment; his gaze and the way his eyes shone could mean nothing else but love. He closed his eyes momentarily and allowed himself to memorize this feeling forever. His hand still brushing away Rey's tears, he reopened his eyes.

Fear was now painted of the smaller man's face. His eyebrows drown together upwards in desperation. Dave's heart skipped a beat not expecting it.

"What is it you fear?" he asked really knowing if it was indeed fear he saw or his mind playing tricks on him.

Rey's trembling hand took Dave's away from his face and for a moment Dave thought this would be the end; that Rey would ask him to leave him alone. But he didn't. Instead he brought it down to his chest and placed it right above his heart.

"I don't want you to go" he simply said.

"I don't want to leave you either…" Dave leaned and kissed his lips so softly and so sweetly. "Oscar… this is what I wanted to tell you… I…"

"I know…" Rey cut him off. "I know…" and he brought his body closer to Dave's. He put his arms around the smaller man and held him close to a firm embrace. Rey was shivering although Dave didn't know if it was from the cold or Rey's rising fever.

"I'm scared" his voice trembled as he held onto Dave for dear life.

"Me too" Dave's voice came out soothing and he tightened his hold. He felt Rey relax and closed his eyes in relief. He didn't know how Rey had guessed his love but then again, he hadn't been good at hiding his feelings the past few days. He had come close to revealing them a few times and after tonight, it was no wonder that the Mexican had guessed everything.

"Oscar…" he spoke again. "I don't want you to regret this later. What we did tonight, we did it because we needed it… because we care for each other… it has nothing to do with Adam's passing…"

Rey broke the embrace and looked down at Dave.

"It has everything to do with Adam…" for a moment Rey's gaze became hard and cold. Mentioning this name was a bad idea. But the next moment Rey's staring softened again and fell back down to Dave's waiting arms. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you like this…"

Dave didn't speak but kissed him gently in his way of telling him it was alright.

"But I don't regret it… I just wish…"

He paused. He didn't want to finish his thought.

"What do you wish?"

"Forget it…" Rey clutched him and Dave held him tighter.

"Oscar… I love you… and I know you don't love me back…"

"No… why…" Rey began to protest but Dave silenced him.

"Please let me finish… I've loved you for a while now and I know you know that… I also know that you loved Adam… what happened tonight happened for a reason. I don't know it yet but I am willing to follow this path to wherever it may lead me; good or bad; heaven or hell. And I can wait for you. My feelings won't die or wither away… I just want you to be happy even if that is away from me." He stopped, and tried to put his emotions under control. It was hard opening his heart and letting it all out, especially to Rey. He felt Rey hugging him a little stronger and this gave him the force to continue.

"I want you to do whatever makes you happy. If you want to forget tonight, it's fine…" Dave lied. "If you want me to leave, I will…"

He could not see Rey face as it lay on top of his chest. New tears had filled his eyes, ones Dave couldn't see. There was no way of telling what the effect of his words was on Rey. His words were strong and they hurt him in more ways than one. Rey was battling with pain, loss, death and most of all, guilt. But there was something about being in Dave's arms that made him feel different; good; safe; even a little happy. Without raising his head from his chest he whispered.

"I don't want you to leave. Adam is gone and I don't know if this pain will ever go away… but there is no one else I would rather be with that right here… with you"

Dave felt tears drop on his chest and gently turned Rey face towards his. He wanted to look into his eyes; he wanted to see what he felt,

"I don't know if I love you… it still hurts too much… but I want to follow you to this path… to wherever it may lead us both… but…"

"But what?" Dave asked the luchador.

"But I don't know if I can take it"

"What do you mean?" the question came low and trembling.

"I want to be with you. You are the only person that has made me forget my pain… that has made me feel again… but the guilt is so much greater…"

"Guilt?" Dave couldn't believe it. Rey was feeling guilty because they had made love so soon after Adam's passing. He tried to soothe him and he had more than his words to do it.

"Oscar… it is natural to seek physical comfort after such a traumatic experience. Human contact makes us feel better and it doesn't mean you don't love Adam. I know that a part of you will belong forever to him. You have been through so much and he had always been there for you; and you for him… what you had will always be in your heart… I don't want you to forget because it makes you the man I love. And I don't want to take his place. I wouldn't dream of it… all I want is for you to be happy again…and if you are willing to give us a chance… so don't feel guilty… please…"

"I want to give us a chance too… it's just… it's too soon… I loved the way you made love to me tonight but it wasn't fair to you… and I can't stop it from messing with my head"

Rey pulled out of Dave's arms and turned his back to him, curling into a ball. Dave pulled him back and forced him to look at him.

"I don't want to mess with your head. You say it wasn't fair for me… as I remember it, I participated willingly. And Rey, I felt as good as you did. Please, don't let it destroy you… or us…" He caressed Rey's cheek. "Do you think Adam would want you to mourn over him forever?"

Rey's eyes opened wider at this… suddenly his dream coming to mind. How could he have forgotten it? He knew that Adam wouldn't want him to mourn over him but instead he would want him to go on with his life and live it as best and as happy as he could. Even though it was only a dream, Rey knew how true these words were… but there was sill this nagging feeling… this guilt…

"No… he would want me to go one with my life…" he finally said.

"So, you see? Mourning is good for your soul but try and put it past you… there are people who love you Rey Rey… who care for you… and I am one of those people. I can wait for you as long as you like… I realise it is too much but we'll take it one step at a time. Starting tomorrow at the funeral…"

Rey's heart sank. Tomorrow will be painful. He only hoped his sanity wouldn't betray him.

"Will you go with me?" he asked.

"Yes… of course…"

Rey smiled bitterly and came close to Dave urging him for an embrace. The bigger man guessing correctly took the luchador in his arms for comfort. Rey relaxed again and for the first time in a while sleep came effortlessly. Dave smiled. Rey's fever had dropped.

'Sleep now my king' Dave thought but his smile faded.

Tomorrow would the day he dreaded. He looked at the man sleeping in his arms and he couldn't help feel a pang of guilt himself. Was he taking advantage of this man's frailty? After all was said and done, would Rey care for him as much as he did or would he leave him? If he did, Dave would deserve it… after all he had slept with him. He could have stopped it any time… Rey was not responsible for his actions. Pain and suffering can make people do the most irrational things.

He just prayed this was not one of those things.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,  
Unwrought with golden and silver light,  
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths  
Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:  
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
I have spread my dreams under your feet;  
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats- He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven 


	9. Chapter 8 wIntER

**Chapter 8-wIntER**

Take this kiss upon the brow

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow-

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in day,

In a vision, or in none

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf tormented shore

And I hold within my hand

Grains if the golden sand-

How few! Yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep-while I weep!

O God! Can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! Can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

Edgar Allan Poe - A dream within a dream

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Late was the hour they had decided to hold the funeral. Snow covered the once green land and the trees looked barren, dark black, naked and heavy with the ice hanging from some thick branches. The sight was a bizarre one to behold. The eye could barely separate the white tombstones from the snow covering everything. The only thing that stood out was some of the carved letters on some of the gravestones; a name here, a date there and some words.

The car came to a slow stop to the side of the narrow road that crossed the vast graveyard. Rey didn't move from his seat by the window. He was staring out from his window to the nature. The glass had steamed from his breath but he vaguely remembered using his sleeve to clean it up. Entering the graveyard was a hard thing to do, partly because of the people who had gathered. Friends of Adam's from his childhood, from the WWE, fans, family… lovers…

He wanted to cry. Instead he took a long breath and held it inside until his chest hurt. When he let it out, the window steamed again covering the beautiful view. A voice came from somewhere in the car and told him they had arrived.

It was time to exit the car and go to the funeral.

"So many have come" he whispered to no one in particular but mostly to himself; and no one answered back because there was none with him but the taxi driver. Rey had decided to take a ride alone. He had left Dave with Bobby and Cole at the airport and had had taken a cab fare alone to the graveyard.

Time was not to be spared. Every wrestler who had flied for the service didn't have the luxury to stay at a hotel since they would all be taking a later flight to the US.

To Rey the whole experience was so numbing and blurry. Since last night's resounding events between him and Dave, time eluded him completely.

After their lovemaking he had managed to get some sleep but he had woken up a few hours later with Dave next to him holding him comfortingly, safely. Rey had been able to disentangle himself from the hold and had quickly prepared his bags for the long journey to Canada.

Dave had woken up to an empty bed and worse… to an empty room. He had panicked at first but he had found a note on the nightstand.

'Didn't want to wake you up. See you at the airport. Rey'

He hadn't thrown it away. Instead he had folded it neatly and made his way to his room to prepare also.

…

Rey stepped out the taxi cold air hitting him violently but he welcomed it. He didn't want to feel comfortable and warm, he didn't want to laugh anymore, he didn't want to be with anybody because Adam was gone. His dead love would never laugh again, he would never be warm again… he would never make love again… so why should he?

Pain gripped his heart and cursed himself for wanting to cry. But the feeling of loss was so great. How would he be able to stand there and watch the casket go down slowly to the dug up ground when all he wanted was to follow Adam down there? Be buried with him! Die!

He stepped out of the road and let his foot sink to the soft snow with a funny squeaking sound Rey always found amusing; but not this time. Instead of following the clear path to the grave, he chose another, lonelier. The thought of going there with all those people looking at him scared him to death. He stood behind a snowed dead tree and from a distance observed the group of people who had come.

'So many' he thought again. Yet courage still escaped him and he could only think of himself as a coward. He took a couple of deep breaths and wiped his sweating palms on his pants. Perhaps he would have dared approach. But then the hearse arrived.

The long black car came to a stop a few feet away from the grave and Rey could swear his breath had stopped. The back doors opened. Dave Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Cena and Christian, Adam's friend from childhood and former WWE wrestler reached and carried the coffin.

Rey's legs gave out from under him and he had to lean against the dead tree for support. A hand grabbed him from his armpits and helped him stand. Rey turned around and came face to face with Chris Benoit.

He wore the same hard expression Rey remembered him having in Eddie's funeral. The black clothes he wore gave him an air of austerity and hardness that made the Mexican shiver.

But then Chris reached out his hand and wiped the tears from Rey's face; tears he ignored having allowed shedding. Rey took his hand and held it firmly against his cheek taking all the comfort he could get from his friend.

"Why?" was all Rey asked.

Benoit's chest heaved as he too was fighting back his own tears. But neither let the sobs surface.

"I don't know…" the Canadian whispered. "But you have to be strong… we all have to be strong…"

"I… this is too hard…."

"No one said it is going to be easy… we both know that my friend. We have walked down this road not long ago… remember?"

Rey only nodded at the memory of Eddie's funeral. Chris' hand wiped down the last traces of the salty tears from Rey's face.

"You know… I always thought that funerals are not for the dead."

Rey looked at Benoit not really understanding where this was going. But he continued.

"Funerals are mostly for us, the living, that stay behind… they are, I think, a way for us to say goodbye… let them go and rest in peace… I know this is harder for you than for the rest of us… and if you can't do this no one will blame you"

"No" Rey cut him immediately his eyes hardening and anger rising inside him. "I came… and I will go."

"Then let us go"

Chris squeezed Rey's shoulder and together walked down the snow towards the grave.

He was so surprised to see almost everyone there. Dark long faces, red teary eyes and sobs came from the people he had known and learned to call friends. Adam's family was seated in front of the coffin, his mother in the center. She was such a beautiful woman and despite the tears her eyes were so amazing. They were the exact same as her dead son's. Rey didn't approach her, and instead chose to stay at the back of the crowd with Benoit right beside him.

The coffin was set on the ground and when the priest started talking, Rey's hearing was completely gone. Like in a movie, the afternoon sky darkened and the sun was hidden behind ominous clouds. But it didn't rain. The winter was far advanced in time of season. Those who had grown up in places like this new that snow was coming… but no rain, none to wash away the pain.

It was strange for Rey to feel once again, in his lifetime, the time slow down. All sounds faded into nothingness. From a distance he could almost hear the wind picking up pace and the air chilling instantly making the temperature drop. He was aware of many eyes watching him and he also knew that many expected him to break down. But he didn't. He just kept his eyes on the coffin refusing to believe that this was the end.

But what was this end? How exactly had this ended? Who had decided to play God with their lives? He didn't know if he wanted to know the who, the why or the how. He just wanted to see Adam again, one last time.

And he hurt so much.

Nobody spoke as the priest spoke the last words and the coffin was lowered to the deep grave. Adam's mother took a handful of dirt and dropped it inside. Her eyes were glassy and so hard to stare into. Not for a single moment had she broken down. She stood rigid above the ground and kissed her son goodbye. Before ever taking one step back, Rey saw her faint and some people grabbing her in time.

Before everyone had passed from the grave, time passed and the afternoon was leaving them quickly and was gently allowing the night to come upon them… and along with the night, the snow.

Only then did Rey look up. There was HHH with Shawn Michaels both looking more shocked and stunned than sad. Cena, Big Show, Booker T, Michael Cole, Tazz, JBL, Teddy Long, Vince McMahon with Stephanie and Shane, Carlito, Ken Kennedy, Matt and Jeff Hardy, Gregory Helms, Paul London, Vito, Mick Foley. They all seemed to b e there. Then he saw Dave. He was looking at him discretely from a distance. He too had been crying. He didn't come close to Rey, respecting his need to be alone in a time like this.

There would be time for them. Later…

For now, he left him alone.

They had all gone… and he was left alone with Benoit.

"I'll be waiting for you in the car… take you time…" he said and walked to the car.

At last alone. Rey sighed and his breath came out colder than ever before. Night had come at last, starless, moonless, cold and lonely. And he still hadn't moved; he still hadn't found the courage to walk and stand on his lover's grave to say goodbye.

The icy wind blew and snow flakes started to fall. Rey wanted to ignore them but they held so many memories; so many recollections of laughter and happiness. Now all they seemed to do is bring him pain.

Taking the first step felt like falling over a cliff.

The second one felt like drowning.

The third one brought him to the edge of the grave. This step felt like dieing.

"He won't rest in piece unless you let him go… unless you say goodbye to him and move on"

A familiar voice came from behind him. Rey didn't turn around to see. Instead he closed his eyes in relief. That's when cold tears came again.

"I know… he told me… in my dream…" Rey answered back eerily his eyes fixed f the coffin.

The Dead man stepped closer and came next to the luchador.

"Did this happen because of me?" Rey asked.

"No" Mark answered. "Nothing you did killed him; a twist of fate… perhaps."

"I thought you knew everything"

"I don't"

"Then how do you know I wasn't to blame… how do you know that some demon didn't kill him? How do you know that Eddie's death wasn't my fault either?"

Rey turned sharply and looked at the man next to him.

The Undertaker was looking grimly at the small man, his massive body blocking the winter wind. His eyes were so warm in contrast to Rey's heart.

"I know…" he stated and his gaze softened more.

Mark wasn't prepared for Rey falling on his embrace. It was strange for the Mexican to find the comfort he was looking for in this man's hug. Mark's arms wrapped around the smaller man's body hesitantly at first and then held him tight, felling the sobs finally surfacing. He caressed Rey's hair and let him stay like this as long he needed, neither caring about the snow that now fell heavily on them nor about the cold wind that pierced their bones. This was much more than physical suffering.

This was about exhilarating the soul and letting go of the dead.

He stayed in his embrace as long as he could hold on. Breaking it stung him a little.

"What about the pendant?" Rey asked awkwardly.

"Don't play this game with me Oscar…" Mark pointed sternly. "Don't ask me questions you know the answers to"

Rey's eyes fell on the ground.

"Don't feel guilty about what happened between you and Dave"

"How do you know?" Rey was surprised.

"You are not the only man that dreams Rey Rey… Adam told me… when he died…"

"When he…" Rey trailed not believing his ears.

"Dave has true feelings for you. He loves you as much as Adam did…"

"No one loves me as much as Adam" Rey spat back insulted.

"Will you listen to me? Dave loves you and as much as you or I don't like or want it, his love runs as deep as Adam's. You have known it in your heart since he touched the pendant and took your pain away."

"Am I wrong with Dave? It feels so wrong. I feel guilty for sleeping with him so soon"

"I can't tell you if it is wrong. And I can't blame you for seeking comfort when you need it. The death of a loved one is always hard…" Mark's voice faced in the night his own mind going back to memories of his own.

Rey looked at him realizing that Mark was thinking about a loved one he had lost.

"Who did you loose?"

"My son"

Rey regretted immediately asking the question. Mark's answer was the one he had been looking for though but he could also relate to it. The thought of loosing his own son Dominic was one he couldn't even begin to grasp.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. He stepped away from Mark and looked away towards the car and his friends who were waiting for him. If his son died, Rey was convinced he would loose his mind for certain. He shivered and tried to chase away the cold was piercing his bones.

Mark smiled albeit bitterly.

"What am I going to do now? I feel so lost. And I know I shouldn't feel alone, but I do… and I'm sorry… because it is not fair to them…" he said and pointed to Dave, Bobby and Benoit.

"What about you? What do you think it is fair for you? Spend the rest of your life suffering and hurting? Don't you think you've had enough if that already? If there is someone who deserves to be happy again, it's you."

"But how can I be happy when one by one, all those I love die?"

Mark walked and put his hand on Rey's shoulder, squeezing it in support.

"Oscar… death is not the end but a beginning… you will be reunited again with Adam… someday… I promise you that."

There was something about the way Mark spoke that had Rey convinced… almost.

Shadows fell again on Rey's face and his eyes darkened from sorrow. For a moment, just one instant he had believed that he could actually find happiness again in this lifetime. But that dream had left him as fast as it had come.

Mark just looked at the shorter man at a loss for words. He knew exactly what his friend was feeling at this moment but he being a man of few words, he had nothing else to say for comfort. This was out of his league and his expertise. He had spent his entire life chasing shadows, demons and evil spirits; he had battled and come face to face with the most terrifying devils and he had prevailed… now he was loosing the one fight he couldn't afford to. No words of wisdom, no deep truths… nothing, because Rey already knew what he needed to know, and still he was inconsolable. He could fight for Rey's soul… he had done so no long ago… he could battle for his safety… but for his sanity?

The begged the question. As they stood in the graveyard in silence and in cold, Mark came to realize one thing that had eluded him all those years; that all the might and power in the world are sometimes nit enough to save a man from sorrow and madness.

Because that is what he feared; that his dear friend would go mad, become crazed and do something foolish…

'Like kill himself?' a familiar voice echoed in his head. Mark trusted that voice as it was always the one that guided him. His teacher had taught him to listen to it because it was the voice of his conscience, the voice of his heart. And usually that voice spoke the truth no matter how cruel or bitter it was.

"We better get going… we're going home…"

"There is no home now" Rey spoke without caring whether Mark heard him or not.

They marched again on the snow and joined the three wrestlers. Rey silently slipped in the car and didn't gave the others one look. Lost in his thoughts and his memories, reality escaped him. He sat by the car window and started looking outside.

Dave wanted to join him, sit beside him and take him in his arms. He had been watching Rey talking to Mark all this time and while curiosity was eating him, he chose not to mention anything to either man. Before entering the car however, Mark stopped him and waved him to step aside. The animal watched Benoit take a seat next to Rey and like a true brother in arms, hugging Rey and him surrendering completely. He couldn't help but feel a little jealous. He took a few steps away from the car and stood firm in front of the Dead man.

"What?" he tried not to sound too angry or too curious. But there he was… standing in front of the Dead man as if this was some wrestling match… like two roosters ready to eat each other out to victory.

The look Mark gave him made the hair at the back of his neck stand and barely managed to suppress a chill. But he stood firm.

"I am not God and I am not here to judge you… or Rey Rey… I am but a friend…" Mark's gaze softened and immediately Dave loosened his composure realizing how stupid he had been acting all territorial on Rey.

"I know… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you like that… it's been such a hard time for all of us… especially Rey"

"Listen… there is not much I can do for him this time…"

"But?" Dave asked sensing there was a 'but' in there.

"But you can… he needs you more than you can imagine; and his need is deep and so dangerous…"

"Dangerous?"

"For his sanity and his safety. Of all the people surrounding him, you are the only one who can keep him safe and sane. Because you love him like Adam did"

Dave didn't know how to react to these words. He didn't know if he should feel happy or sad or angry or worried or scared. Words eluded him and he could only stare at Mark.

The Dead man started to leave but not before returning and speaking in a low voice, startling the Animal by revealing him something his mind's voice was telling him since the day Adam had died.

"The man who killed Adam is still out there… and our friend died a most horrible death… a death of hate, violence and humiliation. Keep an eye for him too because I sense he is close to Oscar… closer than we think or want…"

He started to leave. When he showed no signs of returning, Dave found his voice and his courage.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry about me… I'll be always close… and besides, I'll see you back at the U.S. for the house shows."

And those were the last words he spoke before disappearing into the night. His form vanished completely into the snow storm and the darkness and Dave was left standing, alone with a thousand thoughts passing his mind and not yet sinking in.

Little did he know and even less he could guess of what fate had in store for them back home.

And later, in years to come, he would curse and bless that night, the night of the burial as the one that gave him despair, hope and truth…

And to his surprise, truth didn't set him free like he always thought it would; but like strong giant, it gave him a push towards never ending downward spiral.

He felt sick as he finally began to slide down into the bottomless abyss of Rey's life thread; of Rey's fate. He steadied himself and taking a deep breath, returned to the car preparing for the most dangerous journey of his life.


	10. Chapter 9 cuCkOo’S nESt

**Chapter 9-cuCkOo'S nESt**

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WARNING: This chapter contains graphic violence, murder and necrophilia… if you are uncomfortable with the content, please don't read.

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He's a stranger to some  
And a vision to none  
He can never get enough,  
Get enough of the one

For a fortune he'd quit  
But it's hard to admit  
How it ends and begins

On his face is a map of the world  
A map of the world

From yesterday, it's coming  
From yesterday, the fear  
From yesterday, it calls him  
But he doesn't want to read the message here

On a mountain he sits, not of gold but of shit  
through the blood he can look  
see the lives that he took

From a count to the one  
He'll decide when he's done

With the innocent

On his face is a map of the world  
A map of the world

From yesterday, it's coming  
From yesterday, the fear  
From yesterday, it calls him  
But he doesn't want to write the message   
He doesn't want to read the message  
He doesn't want to read the message here

On his face is a map of the world

**30 Seconds to Mars - From Yesterday (taken from their CD A BEAUTIFUL LIE)  
**  
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There wasn't enough…

There was never enough to satiate him or his hunger. After his first time, his first kill, many years ago, his appetite could only grow.

And it did.

He licked his already wet lips and shivered. He could still taste him…

His mind drifted to his past. He didn't do this often because of his inability to focus, but tonight he was satiated… for the moment at least.

A doctor had asked him why he had done those atrocities, he honestly couldn't answer him. He couldn't define the moment everything had turned dark or the reason for it. He only knew that he really didn't mind becoming the man he was. In fact he liked it.

The doctor had ordered his commitment to the hospital for the mentally insane the minute he realised that his patient was getting sickly horny just by talking about his victims and the things he had done to them.

From there, everything got twisted. What was supposed to be a time of therapy, balance and recuperation, turned out to be a deeper path, a faster descent to the monster he was seeing today in the mirror.

Being in that asylum was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him; because there he had met Jacob Mandeson. It was funny how a man can change another's life. From all the people he had met, Jacob was the only one who not only had accepted him for what he was, but he encouraged him also. Henry never asked him why, but he guessed it was because Jacob was the same beast as he was. Of course 'beast' was not the word used, but still it was the same thing with the word 'patient'. And he really didn't mind.

After having met Jacob, Henry's past had become a blur, a fog of mixed feelings and sensations. Jacob had promised him a world of pleasures beyond his imagination, a world where he would get everything he wanted…

…If only he would help him complete his plan. Henry had agreed without a second thought.

Finding Jacob's son had been easier than he thought because he was famous. Capturing him though was more complicated and in the end it didn't turn out to be as they had planned; and that was because of Jacob's own instability. Originally they were going to use Adam's lover as simple bait, but by the time he was kidnapped, Jacob was already crazed and lost. He used Oscar as bait alright, but he didn't dispose of him like he was supposed to. Instead he kept him in that cabin and used him to satisfy his own needs, neglecting his promise to Henry; forgetting what he had promised to him.

And Henry was getting angrier.

Then Jacob's son, Adam, had taken the bait and it seemed that finally Henry was going to get what he wanted...

A dead body to fuck.

But then, everything was ruined and he didn't know why. The only thing he knew was that he had heard gunshots from the cabin and police sirens… Frustrated that he hadn't finished fucking this creature to death, he was forced to flee with Anderson.

Jacob had died and he was left with nothing but a dead promise and a world of unquenched desire and hatred. He hadn't had the time taking what was rightfully his… he hadn't taken what Jacob had promised him… and now Jacob was dead…

And he was enraged.

He was forced to hide and keep low… still not able to get what he needed… what he desired most… he had spent months in hiding and as hard it had been the only thing that kept him going was his revenge.

Revenge.

With the thought of revenge, he could feel his teeth gritting and his fingers trembling with anticipation.

And his revenge was going to be twofold… and so sweet.

He interrupted his thoughts and stepped away from the closed window he had been standing all this time. He was looking at the boarded up broken window of a five storey abandoned building… he always found it easy to remember and think when he was focusing his eyes on bizarre places, like shadows, broken glass, burnt wood…

The room didn't have a door and no furniture at all. Rats and cockroaches crawled around the place and no one else dared come near this room. He sat down on the filthy floor and continued his gazing on the wall in front of him.

He wanted to close his eyes and sleep. He wanted to lie down and just drift to sleep; but it has been a long time since he was able to do that. He was tired but still unable to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, his heart would start racing fast and adrenaline would run through his heart.

Tonight was one of those nights. Unable to sleep he just sat there. He was alone tonight.

He needed to be alone because for the first time in a while he was feeling a little peaceful. He brought his fingers up and looked at them. There was still blood on them… dried blood… cold blood… but still it tasted so good to him. Obscenely he opened his mouth and put two fingers inside, letting the blood mix with his saliva. The taste brought him back the memory of what he had done just a few days ago.

He let the blood linger in his mouth licking savagely his fingers. His eyes rolled back and he moaned in anticipation.

The metallic taste of blood reminded him of his revenge.

Finding Jacob's son had been easy like it was the first time. Sneaking in the hotel was even easier using the basement. But finding his room was difficult. He had spent five hours hidden in the hotel waiting for the opportune moment. It had come late at night, when the receptionist left to use the toilet. One quick searched revealed that Adam Copeland slept in room 606. Snatching the skeleton key that lay on the desk, he left quietly for the stairs.

Henry used his free hand to unzip his pants and release his pulsing cock from its confines. It was already hard and dripping with pre-cum. His hand reached down and started jerking off slowly at first, still tasting the blood from his other hand.

They slipped in the room so quietly. At first they didn't see Adam but soon water running revealed them his location. He took his switchblade out and snapped it open with a soft clicking sound. Adam came out of the bathroom almost running but he didn't see them waiting for him with their backs against the wall. He was eager to reach the phone but Anderson's strong arms were quick enough to grab him from behind. Henry didn't wait for foreplay. He gave Adam one last look, enough to make sure his victim knew who he was, and stuck his knife in the Canadian's neck preventing him from screaming. He fisted the knife harder and as he kept his eyes on his victim, he pushed it deeper and then used all his force to slice his neck from one side to the other.

Anderson's grip loosened when he felt Adam's body go limp but he didn't let go. Adam's head tilted freakishly backwards and blood started spurting out from the deep cut. Henry looked one last time those glassy dead eyes and leaned forward. He plunged his fingers in the running blood as he grabbed his throat and opened his mouth letting the warm blood fill him completely. He never was one to drink the blood of his victims, but this one was special. He felt that by drinking his blood he was taking his revenge… against Jacob, who had tricked him and hadn't kept his promise; who had died so ungracefully; who had lost his mind and hadn't stick to the original plan; who had given him Rey to satisfy him too late. He tasted the blood running down his throat and it made him sick; but he didn't care. Killing Jacob's only son was as good as killing the man himself. Revenge had the flavour he always thought it had… warm, thick and sick.

Nothing felt better than this and he was relieved to experience a familiar sensation coming to life once again after a long time.

Anderson didn't need to be told. He removed his hands from the dead body and it fell on the floor like a broken, boneless and used doll. Henry stood above the dead man and stared with crazed eyes. Adam's long blond hair were soaking in blood, taking a twisted shade of dark red and his eyes… those eyes once alive with joy, happiness and love were now covered by the cold merciless hand of death.

Henry's hand started pumping faster as his memory advanced and his cock was harder that ever. He would have spilled his sperm right then but he held on, wanting it to last as long as he could. Harsh moans escaped him and he but his bottom lip in anticipation.

He leaned over the mangled body and his smile grew; not a smile of compassion or happiness, but an evil mask of lust and exhilaration. Already the bulge in his jeans had grown and he was hard just from slashing the man's throat. His throat was trembling… too eager to do at last what was deprived from him. He kneeled down next to Adam's dead body and without hesitation or remorse removed his pants and underwear and with one swift move flipped him over to his stomach. Eagerness made his own hands shake as he unzipped his jeans. Using his blooding hands, he spread Adam's ass cheeks and a load moan escaped him.

With one violent thrust he entered and stayed immobile for a few seconds trying to control his urges… wanting it last for a while at least. It had been such a long time since he hadn't the opportunity to fuck a dead body… he had to try really hard not to come immediately as his cock pushed its way into the dry narrow opening. Fucking this man was painful, even for him, but that was part of the pleasure. He used some of the blood on his hands to lubricate the opening a bit and then pushed deeper, letting a hiss echo in the room.

Anderson stood a few feet away from Henry. He was looking at him with half opened eyes, wet lips and hand jerking off at the rhythm of Henry's screw. Little sounds emanated from him but they were drowned by Henry's incessant moans that steadily were becoming screams.

Soon the sound of flesh slapping against wet dead flesh become too much and Henry found that he couldn't hold on as long as he wished to. Blood covered not only his hands and his face but also his dick and Adam's ass hole. His thrusts grew faster and faster as Adam's body jerked violently with every move, limps convulsing by the force of the rapist.

When Henry came, he let out a loud animalistic cry, nothing Anderson had heard before… but that didn't stop him from reaching his own climax and spilling his sperm all over the carpet.

'Fuck you, you son of a bitch' Henry breathed. His tone was addressing to the dead man underneath him.

He got out of Adam's ass and leaned forward. He jerked his face towards him and met his dead eyes.

'When you see your father in hell, tell him how much I loved you tonight… you fuck…' he spat ironically as if he could hear him. He licked one last time the blood that now covered Adam's face and stood up. Anderson was waiting by the door, his expression calm and stern as ever.

'We left behind a lot of evidence' he said before they left the room.

'It doesn't matter' Henry replied. He smiled and then added. 'Besides, let them know… let them get scared'

They left the hotel quietly without anyone noticing them

When Henry opened his eyes, his hand was coated with blood and semen… his own. He had ejaculated sometime in his reverie and his body was now reacting by shaking.

It felt so good to do this again.

A shadow from the door drew his attention. Anderson had come at some point while he was busy jerking off. Casually, Henry stood up and walked to him.

"Did you find him?"

A nod… that was good sign from the taciturn man.

"Where is he?"

"Here… he came tonight from the funeral…"

"Did you find out where he is staying?"

Again a nod.

"How long is he in town?"

"A week"

Henry smiled satisfied.

"Why?" Anderson asked. "Why him?"

Henry walked away and approached the boarded up window. A black cockroach was crawling across a wooden plank. Swiftly Henry grabbed it and kept it in his fist.

"Because I don't like loose ends; because that son of a whore was mine; because he escaped by pure chance; because he got away; because now it's time to finish what was started"

By the time he finished he long sentence his hand had become such a tight fist that the cockroach was squashed between his fingers and its juices mixed with blood. Blood had risen to his head and he could actually hear his pulse in his ears.

Anderson didn't move. Cold as always, he stood by the door and waited. Henry didn't bother wiping away his hand from the blood or the dead cockroach. When he turned around, the smile had returned to his lips; rotten teeth, clacked lips and two eyes shining with hatred and lust.

"Come…" he simply said and walked out the door. "We have work to do before the end…"

Before the end…

Anderson didn't bother with his words. He knew that whatever the man meant with this, he would soon find out. He carried his big muscled body out of the building and followed Henry into the night.

No stars tonight.

No moon either.

No hope for the ignorant.


	11. Chapter 10 MAdneSs aNd DEsoLaTiOn

**Chapter 10** **MAdneSs aNd DesoLaTiOn**

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Until you crash  
Until you burn  
Until you lie  
Until you learn  
Until you see  
Until you believe  
Until you fight  
Until you fall  
Until the end of everything at all  
Until you die  
Until you're alive

Don't save me, don't save me, 'cause I don't care  
Don't save me, don't save me, 'cause I don't care

Until you give  
Until you've used  
Until you last  
Until you lose  
Until you see, how can you believe?  
Until you've lived a thousand times  
Until you see the other side  
This is my chance, this is myself

Don't save me, don't save me, 'cause I don't care  
Don't save me, don't save me, 'cause I don't care

Until the truth becomes a lie  
Until you change, until you deny  
Until you believe

This is my chance, this is my chance  
I'll take it now because I can  
This is my chance, I want it now

Don't save me, don't save me, 'cause I don't care  
Don't save me, don't save me, 'cause I don't care

Save me, save me, save me  
Save me, save me, save me  
I don't care

**30 Seconds to Mars-Savior (taken from their CD A BEAUTIFUL LIE)**

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He recognised the feeling. It was the same but at the same time a little different. It hurt a little more. But the same familiar bitter taste rose to his throat. When he thought about it, it seemed that lately this taste came a little too often… and the guilt was always there, like an old wrinkled woman clad in dark black that death had forgotten to claim; whose aged hands and rotting fingernails were threatening to cut his heart to ribbons.

He walked in the halls of the arena, alone. There were so many people around him, talking in low whispered voices, giving him stolen glances and some even daring to say hello or tap him on the shoulder.

The only thing he could do was nod and move on. He really didn't want to be here tonight. It was too soon. But he doubted it would ever be alright for him. He fought really hard not to break. He had been fighting ever since they had left the cemetery; he fought during their long flight home; he was fighting it now as he tried to make his way to the locker room.

The gathering crowd tonight was numb and sad. Just like it had been in Eddie's Tribute show. Rey tried not to look at the numerous signs held up high by the spectators or their faces. Although they didn't know about him and Adam, Rey believed that his eyes would betray him.

Especially tonight.

He was thankful he wouldn't have to fight. He would just have to appear at the beginning while Vince would address the crowd and the viewers.

The entire roster from Raw and Smackdown was present and Rey got a little frustrated for not being able to find some privacy. Coming near the locker rooms he spotted HHH talking to Shawn Michaels.

Shawn had been the one to find Adam's mangled body.

Rey thought he didn't look too good either. Hesitantly he stepped close to the men. Not many words could be spoken and none were really needed. Shawn's eyes were swollen and blood shot just like Rey's. HHH broke the silence.

"Hey Rey"

Rey looked and nodded. He was sure if he spoke now, his voice would break. And he didn't want this. He wanted to be strong. He was tired of crying and hurting.

But there was little he could do, because Shawn just looked at the Mexican and just hugged him tightly, seeking and giving comfort at the same time. Rey hands reached behind Shawn's back and held him as well.

For the time they held each other, it seemed like all sound was lost and no other person was there but them, their comforting touch and their hitched breaths. The only thing that mattered was the strength each man was taking from the other. When their hug broke, both pairs of eyes were shimmering with welling tears.

"I'm sorry Shawn" said Rey without really knowing the reason. He just felt he needed to apologise.

"I'm sorry too" Shawn's answer took him by surprise. "I'm sorry he was taken from you… from us all…" And Shawn really meant his words. He had tried to picture a world without his loved ones but he'd found the idea unbearable, almost too painful to imagine. His eyes betrayed him and Rey couldn't help but love him for his support.

Rey's chest heaved. Sadness overflowed him like a tidal wave destroying everything in its path.

Everything.

He swallowed hard and managed to give a faint forced smile.

He walked away without another word, without a second thought, without a second glance. He swallowed the bitter bile in the throat and let his eyes fall on the floor… again.

As he walked away, he could feel both men's eyes on him, pitying him, waiting for him to break down.

Little did they know, he had already broken down.

It was a question of whether he would ever manage to heal. He didn't know what would come after this. Had he really broken down? Had he really digested the fact that Adam was gone and that barely moments later he was in the arms of another man?

Was it really that sinful to do such a thing? Those who knew told him that it was natural. But the guilt was always there, always present. He had asked Dave to accompany him to the funeral but as soon as they had gone to the airport, Rey had desperately sought out solitude. He needed to get his thoughts in order, but the more time he spent alone, the more he got entangled in a web of pain, guilt and misery.

His broken glass heart could not bare it any more. He missed Adam so bad that no other could take his place.

Yet that night, being with Dave had taken the pain away and even for a few minutes, Rey wasn't hurting.

But now it was different. Wasn't it?

He was so confused.

And he honestly hated being here. He was starting to consider escaping the arena when he saw him.

Dave stood at a distance talking to Benoit and Mark Callaway. But when his eyes fell on the luchador, he could focus only on him. Dave just had to look at him… and he knew. He just knew what Rey was thinking and he bit his lip. He cut his conversation and walked to him. Without words, he took his hand and led him away from the rest. Rey followed without resistance.

They didn't walk long. Turning left to a corridor, brought them behind a WWE truck. There Dave stopped and turned swiftly to face the man he loved. He approached him and kissed his lips softly. His mouth touched Rey's swollen lips and his hands clasped his face. He brought him closer to him, their bodies touching.

And to his surprise, Rey didn't fight back or stopped him. Instead he leaned to the kiss and grabbed Dave by the shirt desperately seeking more. This kiss was not sexual or physical.

This touch was about two souls searching the other. It was about finding love again; about mending a broken heart; filling a void in another's soul.

Rey had to break the kiss to take a breath. Then their eyes met again and he took Dave in his arms squeezing him tightly.

Rey buried his face in Dave's chest and stayed there for a while, trying to forget this night.

"I don't want to do this" he begged.

"Do what?"

"I don't want to be here tonight"

"I don't either, but we have to. Adam was a friend to all of us and this is a way for us and the fans to say goodbye."

"I've said my goodbye"

"No, my love… you haven't. You may never be able to say goodbye to him but it's alright you know. You are hardly a difficult book to read. But there is one thing that you have learnt to hide well, and that is your heart; but I can see it so clearly. Adam will always have a piece of it and you will always carry him with you… and I can't help but love you for it."

Rey looked up with wide shining eyes, trying to decide if he should feel happy. The fact that Dave was accepting him, his feelings, his past and his decisions was something he thought he would never find again. And he felt bad because a few moments ago he had doubted himself and Dave. But there he was, in his arms.

He broke the embrace and stepped away.

"Don't do this Oscar" Dave begged as if he could see the torrent raging in Rey's mind. Rey looked at him in surprise.

"I know what you are thinking and what you are feeling. Your eyes betray you… you are still feeling guilty about us don't you…" there was no hint of an accusation in his tone of voice.

"No" Rey lied a little too late.

"Bullshit… I know you Rey Rey… come on, we have been through this before."

Rey took another step back.

"I'm scared" he whispered, partly regretting his words as they had come out.

"Why?"

"I'm afraid I'll loose you too. I'm loosing everyone…"

"I love you Oscar. You are not going to loose me"

Rey closed his eyes struggling to believe those words.

"Do you promise?" He knew it was unfair to ask this of him, but he couldn't help it.

"I promise. And I am not saying this because it's what you need to hear, but because my heart tells me it's the truth. I only hope you believe in me as I believe in you… in us…"

"I believe in you Dave. I just can't believe in me any more. I don't trust me… and I tried… I tried so hard…"

"No, please Rey" Dave took a step closer. He felt that a rift was starting to form between them, one that was gradually growing taking the proportions of a canyon. With every step Rey took back, Dave felt hopelessness rising because he knew that Rey was falling. His heart could not keep up with his mind.

Dread came to him as Rey stepped back a third time. Had he not just held him? Had he not just kissed him? Why was he stepping away?

"Why do you recoil?" he asked while his face took an expression of utter confusion and sadness.

"I'm sorry Dave… it's not you… I hate to confuse you… I didn't mean to take advantage of you… but no matter how good you make me feel, I can't stop this tornado inside me… it's like a disease that's killed almost everything in me…"

"But…"

"No please… I can't stand it. I'm loosing my mind…" Rey's eyes drifted bizarrely to the ground and he hugged himself, suddenly feeling very cold. "One minute, I miss Adam, I cry, I want to die, the next I'm in your arms, kissing you, loving you… I… I just can't… I want to be alone and I want to be with you… I want my life to end and I want it to begin with you… you see?" He asked. "Do you see? I want opposite things, and I don't know which way to go; I don't know what to do. There are so many voices in my head, so many different feelings…"

A fourth step.

"Please Oscar, I beg you, don't go… don't go where I can't follow. Please stay with me"

Rey's eyes had tears but more disturbingly, they looked dead and hollow.

Dave took a step forward and reached his hand.

Rey looked at it. Batista could feel the struggle raging inside the other man and he prayed to God for Rey to take his hand.

"Are you praying to God Dave?" Rey asked and his face became a mask of sorrow. His eyes however became eerily cold and dead.

"Yes… I pray to God you take my hand and let me love you like you deserve"

Rey smiled bitterly as another tear rolled down.

"You should know by now Dave… God has forsaken me a long time ago"

"Please Oscar… don't go…"

Rey's chest heaved as he suppressed his sobs.

"You'll never know how sorry I am… please forgive me…"

He ran away as fast as he could, never giving the other wrestler the chance to stop him. He just wanted to get lost in the night.

Dave just stood there his hand still reached out. He wanted to run behind him but his legs didn't obey his will. He was still in shock of what he had heard.

"Stay" he whispered but Rey was not there to hear him.

"Dave? Come on, the show is about to start" the Undertaker's deep voice bellowed from behind. But upon seeing Dave's face, he immediately knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong? Where's Rey?"

"He… he left…"

"Left? To where?"

Dave lifted his hand showing the general direction which Rey had taken but it was obvious that in truth he didn't know.

"And you let him go?" Mark felt anger rising. Since the events in London, Mark had become a little protective of Rey. He had developed a liking, perhaps some sort of affection for the Mexican because he had suffered so greatly in his lifetime, accepting fate's blows one after another. It was so sad and aggravating seeing him slowly break apart.

It was Adam's death that had urged him to come back to the WWE, somehow sensing that he was going to be needed before the end. And he hated it; he hated the familiar voice in his head that told him that it was going to end soon and it was going to end badly.

Like in the past… years ago…

Mark forced himself to avoid thinking about his past and focused on the present. The mistakes he had made, the people he had lost belonged to the past. He had saved Rey once from hell, he was going to be damned if he lost him now.

Dave had still given no answer.

"How stupid can you be?"

"What?" that last comment seemed to bring Dave out of his thoughts.

"You let him go? Alone, in middle of the night, out there… with nothing but his pain! Did it ever cross you mind that maybe he might try and do something stupid, like commit suicide?" Mark's voice had become rough and he was practically shouting, something he didn't do often.

Dave's mind went blank and he stopped breathing. This had never occurred to him.

'You'll never know how sorry I am' Rey's last words echoed in his head.

Mark saw the alarm in the other man's eyes.

"Which way did he go?" he asked trying to make his point stronger by grabbing Dave's arm.

Dave was about to leave running towards the direction where Rey had ran when two police men and a detective blocked his way.

"Sorry to disturb you gentlemen. I'm detective Scott and I'm handling the case of Mr. Copeland's death. I'm looking for Mr. Oscar Guttierrez."

"He just left" Mark answered.

Uneasiness overtook the detective.

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know. He just left."

"He got upset and left saying he wanted to be alone… please detective we have to find him… I'm afraid of what he might do…" Dave told Scott.

"If we don't hurry, I'm afraid someone else might get that chance"

"What do you mean?" the Undertaker asked.

"DNA results came in an hour ago. We have identified the man who killed Mr. Copeland."

Neither Batista nor Callaway spoke. They looked deeply into the detective's eyes waiting.

"It's Henry Brinson and Anderson Duval. They, along with Mr. Copeland's father and another man, had kidnapped Rey a while ago… We have to find Oscar Guttierrez before Henry and Anderson. I fear Henry will come back to finish what he started"

Suddenly their voices were lost to the cheering of the crowd.

The show had started.

But all that didn't matter any more.

All the mattered was finding Rey…

Alive.

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Trivia:

For those who have read "PACES" I hope you remember detective Scott. He was the one handling Rey's case.

Originally I was going to use Bobby Lashley but then I figured Undertaker is so much better. Besides, he is the most fun part to write and from the reviews I realised how much the readers of the story wanted him back.


	12. Chapter 11 ATtaCk

**Chapter 11-ATtaCk**

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In Spring of youth it was my lot  
To haunt of the wide world a spot  
The which I could not love the less -  
So lovely was the loneliness  
Of a wild lake, with black rock bound,  
And the tall pines that towered around.

But when the night had thrown her pall  
Upon that spot, as upon all,  
And the mystic wind went by  
Murmuring in melody -  
Then - ah, then, I would awake  
To the terror of the lone lake.

Yet that terror was not fright,  
But a tremulous delight -  
A feeling not the jewelled mine  
Could teach or bribe me to define -   
Nor Love - although the love were thine.

Death was in that poisonous wave,  
And in its gulf a fitting grave   
For him who thence could solace bring  
To his lone imagining -   
Whose solitary soul could make  
An Eden of that dim lake.

**Edgar Allan Poe – TO THE LAKE **

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He was used to being in the dark by now. He even liked it; embraced it; but no man should. Reason dictated that the lack of light favoured pessimism and nurtured madness. His mind drifted to a small conversation he had with Adam before…

'I'm not sure I haven't lost my mind' Rey had said one night

'What do you mean?' 

'You asked me once how I did it… how I had I not lost my mind yet…'

'And?'

'I'm not sure I haven't…' he had trailed off.

He wanted to smile at the memory but couldn't. If he hadn't lost his mind back then, he was sure he was loosing it now.

'But don't they say that a man who questions his sanity is not really crazy? Only those who claim not to be mad truly are'

His head hurt. It felt like a clamp had a hold of his head and someone was squeezing the life out his temples.

The human mind is a mysterious thing; a maze; a labyrinth of many possible exits but also of endless dead ends. Although no man was holding against Rey the fact that he had slept with Dave so soon, Rey knew… if he couldn't forgive himself, how could the others accept it? How could they not call him a whore?

"I'm sorry…" he whispered in the dark and his voice fell hollow on the walls.

He had left Dave standing bewildered in the arena and left running. The minutes that had followed were a blur and he wasn't quite certain how he had made it to the hotel. He barely remembered taking a cab and paying the driver. The only thing that mattered was getting away from the world, finding shelter in the solitude.

"I'm sorry" again he spoke. He was kneeling close to the wall, mumbling continuously the same thing over and over as he kept rocking his body back and forth. He was freezing but his arms wrapped around his body gave no warmth; and those burning tears were colder that ice.

He was so tired of hurting; it seemed that pain was the only constant thing in his life for a while now. Happiness was only temporary. But the odd thing was that now he didn't mind the pain.

'You deserve it' his conscience told him.

He closed his eyes tighter trying to block away the words out of his mind.

"I'm so sorry"

'Bullshit… you are nothing but a pathetic whore… he died and suffered and what did you do?'

"Stop it… please"

'You cheated on him… his body wasn't even cold yet and you crawled into Dave's bed… what does that make you?'

"Please… forgive me"

'It makes you a cheap whore'

Rey whimpered and didn't stop sobbing.

'There is no pain great enough for you… you deserve all the pain you get and more… there will be no forgiveness… ever!'

"Yes" he finally gave up. He let his body slump against the wall and his hands fall helplessly in his lap. His conscience was right; about everything.

'You deserve hell' was the last thing his conscience yelled at him.

He blinked his eyes to the darkness and suddenly everything became clear.

He knew what he had to do.

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Their drive was furious in the city streets. Even more furious was Dave who sat in the back of the police car trying to relax as they drove to the hotel. It was the only place where he thought Rey would go and hide. Nothing else in this town made sense to him. There was nothing else familiar to Rey in this city that would urge him to go there. He only prayed he was right. He prayed they would get there before something bad happened to him. He was thankful that Mark Callaway was there too. He seemed to share a special bond with Rey, a silent connection that had started in the UK and was stretching to this day stronger than before. But a bitter taste rose to his throat when he thought of another person he would want to be there; Eddie. He would know what to do and what to say to his dear friend. He sighed and wiped his sweating palms on his jeans.

This drive was taking too damn long.

Mark's eyes fell of Dave just for a moment, and that was all it took. How strange fate acted sometimes. There are people who can spend their entire lifetime searching for someone to love, and then there are those who get, not one, but two chances to happiness. Like Rey. But life has its mysteries. To Mark it was a cruel joke to gift a man with so much charisma, so much love only to take it away.

Mark had never felt so sorry and so alone like he did tonight.

And it was in times like these he allowed memories of her come back to comfort him. He closed his eyes and she appeared as if she were still alive. His ears filled with laughter and songs in an ancient language that he shouldn't understand, but he did.

And her eyes!

Those eyes contained the wisdom of the old.

He could almost feel her and he could still recall her smell; a delicate odour that bizarrely reminded him the ringing of tiny glass bells. When he had told her that, she had looked at him, her eyes open wide in surprise and then she had burst into laugher.

Her image was such a comfort and always a source of strength for him. Even after her death, so many years ago, she was still so alive inside him, like she was a part of him. He still carried her voice and her wisdom. There was nothing he wouldn't give to get her back.

Nothing.

Loosing her had nearly annihilated him. He had to fight literally through hell to get back his sanity and his soul, so in a sense he knew a little bit what Rey was going through. He was not ready to see him wither away, loose his mind…

He was not ready to see him die.

His fingers closed tightly in a fist. She was there with him and he still loved her for it. As they approached their final destination, the images of her became darker.

They always did. It was a sign to let her memory drift back to oblivion until the next time.

Tonight however she lingered a little while longer. Her smile faded and all colour drained from her cheeks; her eyes saddened and she brought her beautiful hands on her face. A few moments later she opened her hands and extended them to Mark.

There was blood coming from her eyes.

Blood tears.

Then she left.

When Mark opened his eyes again, he realized he was holding his breath. His chest and head hurt and he would have screamed if he were alone. This time she had nearly killed him. But he didn't care. He loved her still.

Blood ran from his nose. He wiped it with the back of his hand.

This was madness.

"We are late" he spoke, his bass voice breaking.

Dave's head spun around and looked at him, terrified of believing what he was being told.

"No…" he denied. He didn't ask how Mark knew. He just had to deny it.

He had to; for his sake and for Rey's.

"We have to hurry" he urged the police man sitting on the front seat.

Mark didn't answer. He wanted to cry. But like he had done many times before, he turned his head away towards the darkness he knew so well, and swallowed all his tears, all his grief, all his pain and all his suffering.

The police sirens were howling their desperate song across the city streets as both men felt in their hearts that tonight was one of those nights where the world, as well as their lives, would never be the same again.

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Silent white walls and black shadows crawled across their eyes. Their steps were lost on the blood red carpet. No sound existed except their own controlled breathing. Calm hands and cold hearts walked together side by side, making their way to the end.

The end of one thing is always the beginning of another. They had to end this before they could move on to other greater deeds.

If there was a man looking for them tonight, he wasn't near here… not yet at least. Soon, they expected the others to arrive and desperately save him.

'Soon… but not soon enough'

Tracking him down was easy. People like the man they were looking for tonight were easy to find. Slipping inside the hotel was even easier. Learning their rooms was tricky but it was nothing a few dollars couldn't fix.

And _he_ was worth it.

Anticipation had been slowly building inside. It had begun like that at least… now that they were approaching the end anticipation was fading, giving its place to lust and violence. His hands were almost trembling and the heat in his groin was blurring his vision.

In his mind, a little song kept repeating itself;

'One, Two, Henry's coming for you

Three, Four, And lock your door

Five, Six, Grab a crucifix

Seven, Eight, Better stay awake

Nine, Ten, He's Back again' (F1)

The big dark door loomed ahead ominously, like the gateway to hell, but they didn't think so. Silently they came to a stop in front of it and without looking each other, opened the door to the realm of doom, shadows and pleasure.

None heard them go in.

None cared.

Henry smiled and slipped his tongue across his cracked lips, wetting them as he saw his prey.

Anderson's huge frame blocked the light coming from the corridor and as he stepped in closing the door behind him, all light was swallowed by darkness.

The prey looked them back with eyes open wide in disbelief and horror. His voice stayed in his throat, throttled. He wanted to stand and run, scream and fight, but to his dismay, he stayed kneeling down. The tears hadn't dried yet and his body went numb.

When they took the first step towards him, he fell back and crawled into a corner.

Despite the lack of light, the prey could easily see the eyes of the hunters glowing with feelings he wished he hadn't seen before.

But he had.

It seemed it had been a lifetime ago, but his body remembered as well as his mind and his heart. He felt like falling forever. He wanted to close his eyes and let all this be a dream.

But he kept staring at them.

A few moments ago, he was actually considering putting an end to his life, but now all he could think about was the past and how it had come back to haunt him; about how he wanted to fight them; about how much he wanted to live…

All he could think about was what a mistake he had made running away from Dave.

As they took another step closer, he let his tears come to life again.

And those eyes, they burnt him into ashes.

"No… please…" he trembled like a scared child.

Henry knelt a few inches away and smiled. He remained silent for what seemed an eternity, neither man moving. Then he reached out his hand and offered it to his prey.

"Come" he simply spoke expecting his victim take his hand.

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(F1) The verses are based on the film "Nightmare on Elm Street".

**  
**


	13. Chapter 12 thE wEePInG sONg

**Chapter 12-thE wEePInG sONg **

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"Go son, go down to the water  
And see the women weeping there  
Then go up into the mountains  
The men, they are weeping too"

"Father, why are all the women weeping?"

"They are weeping for their men"

"Then why are all the men there weeping?"

"They are weeping back at them"

This is a weeping song  
A song in which to weep  
While all the men and women sleep  
This is a weeping song  
But I won't be weeping long

"Father, why are all the children weeping?"

"They are merely crying son"

"O, are they merely crying, father?"

"Yes, true weeping is yet to come"

This is a weeping song  
A song in which to weep  
While all the men and children sleep  
This is a weeping song  
But I won't be weeping long

"O father tell me, are you weeping?  
Your face seems wet to touch  
O then I'm so sorry, father  
I never thought I hurt you so much"

This is a weeping song  
A song in which to weep  
While we rock ourselves to sleep  
This is a weeping song  
But I won't be weeping long

**Nick Cave-The Weeping Song (taken from the CD 'THE GOOD SON')**

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The hand still lingered in front of his face, calloused, dirty and inviting. Filthy, bitten fingernails were mirrored in his wide opened, fearful and disbelieving eyes. All his wanted to do was run away, scream and fight back but nothing came out. Even his breath was stuck in his lungs. A fist had taken a hold of his heart and squeezed the life out of him.

Memories had come back. Those memories had returned the moment the two men of his nightmares had walked into the room. He had tried to make them go away by closing his eyes, wishing they were just a dream.

But they weren't. All the things he had tried to forget, all the horrible feelings and the nightmares that had plagued his life for so long, they all had come back in the blink of an eye. He thought he was over them. All those long nights of desperate crying and comfort from his dear Adam were in vain. They were lost forever; just like he was.

As the door closed behind the large framed man and all light died.

And then he knew.

There in the middle of the night, in silence and in fear, in darkness and in despair, the end for him was coming.

He just wished it wouldn't be like this; not so painful; not so infernal. Seeing them linger in front of him, expecting him to make the next move, he couldn't help but think that this fear was so much greater than the fear he had of Asmodai, probably because death was now only a heartbeat away.

He wanted to die, that was true but wanting something is different than actually getting it. Now that death was staring him Rey recognized its face and wished none of it. Not like this. Henry's eyes were still upon him, hungry, inviting and bright. Anderson's big frame was somewhere at the back mixing with the creeping shadows, waiting for Lord knows what.

Rey's mouth had gone dry and as he swallowed he throat hurt. For a moment he thought of taking the hand in front of him, but then what would Adam think of him? Dying willingly by the hand of the man who murdered his soul mate?

He would have recoiled further into the corner but his back was already adjoined to the cold wall.

"Come" Henry spoke again and he brought his hand lower.

It was a faint smile that was forming on Henry's lips that sent Rey over the edge; a smug and confident smile of victory and madness.

With one swift move Rey grabbed the sticky dirty fingers and pulled them with all his force backwards, twisting them and finally to his utter delight, breaking every one of them. Never had he thought that he would rejoice so much upon the sound of bones breaking, but he did. Henry's screams became sweet music to his ears and for a moment Rey thought he could win this.

Henry fell back clutching his fingers, his smile now gone. His eyes were still bright, but anger was the cardinal emotion. He gritted his teeth and looked directly to Rey.

"I'm not going to give up so easy" Rey spat at him, rising slowly from the corner. His fingers formed fists and he never figured were this strength had come from, but he lunged forward and started punching Henry's face.

He didn't have the chance to hurt him because as soon as the first fist connected with Henry's jaw, a pair of strong hands grabbed him from his neck and with force threw him hard against the wall. Rey's vision blurred for a moment and his balance was gone from the impact of his head against the wall. He fell awkwardly on the floor and the only thing he could think at that instant was getting back up and fight.

A numbing pain coming from his head told him however that he wouldn't be able to stand up for a while. Lying face down on the crimson carpet he felt wetness at the back of his head spreading down to his neck and he didn't have to touch it to know that blood was already trickling from the wound.

Soon his strength would abandon him.

He tried to stand but again the same strong hands grabbed him from his neck and brought him to his knees. Rey opened his eyes and fighting though the pain managed to focus to the man in front of him. At first he saw the huge form of Anderson towering him but soon he stepped aside and without leaving his hold on Rey's neck gave way to Henry.

Henry was still on the floor holding his broken fingers in a fist against his chest, clenching his teeth hatefully.

"I was going to take mercy on you, but…" he came closer to Rey, "but you leave me no choice love"

It was then that Rey saw the knife. He used all he had in him to break away but Anderson tightened his hold and started choking the life out of the Mexican. His hands were trying to loosen the grip but to no avail.

"You got away once love, but I doubt you can escape twice… Anderson, hold his hands while I commence" he ordered the black man and he obediently left Rey's neck to grab his arms and hold them behind his back.

"Do you think they have figured out who killed your boyfriend yet?" he asked Rey without really expecting an answer.

"Do you think they'll be coming for you? How I would love to see their faces when they find you! Especially HIS face" he looked deeply into Rey's eyes, meaningfully.

"No…" Rey spoke his voice a little over a whisper, still painful from the strangling. He was ready for everything at this moment, but not for this. The thought of Henry wreaking his havoc on Dave was more distressing than anything else.

"You look surprised … how I would love to be a fly on the wall and look at him as he comes in and finds you maimed, raped, dead and desecrated. Do you think he will ever forgive you for ruining his life? For bringing all this death and pain? Or perhaps you thought he really loved you? Well, I have news for you love… like me, HE only wanted one thing from you…"

Henry's face had come close to Rey's their lips almost touching.

"…and that is to fuck you"

Henry didn't have to mess too long with Rey's already confused and fucked up mind. It seemed that his words were having the desired effect. Rey's eyes misted and tears welled up.

"No… he… he loves me…"

"Does he now? Is that what he told you to get you to bed? So if he does love you, where is he now? Why isn't he here with you? Why didn't he run after you when you left him at the arena?"

"How… how can you know?" Rey asked, his mind racing.

Henry smiled; the smugness and confidence was back.

"I know a lot of things love… and one thing I know is that your precious Dave lied to get in your pants"

"No… you lie" Rey accused but he could feel already his mind's defenses drop one by one.

"Why would I lie? I already have you and soon I will have what I need. And besides your Dave, what does it day about you?"

Rey could answer nothing to that. His eyes dropped to the floor unable to see eye to eye with his tormentor anymore. Henry leaned closer and kissed Rey's lips. His cracked lips touched Rey's soft ones in what was the beginning of a long kiss. Rey tried to pull away Henry's hand clasped his face and held it still. His blood red tongue crept out from behind rotten teeth and licked the luchador's lips who tenaciously refused to open his mouth and accept it. His felt shivers and an immense sense of disgust as Henry's tongue left his mouth and started licking its way down to his cheek and neck. For some reason Anderson's hold became stronger and Rey cried in pain as the black man jerked his hands further behind his back adding his knee to the lower of his back.

Rey closed his eyes letting the tears finally free.

"You were ready enough to jump into bed with him the minute Adam was dead. You didn't have the decency to wait until he was buried. In my book that makes a whore! So this is relatively easy for you isn't it? I don't expect you to have any problems with me?"

His voice was a low growl, half hatred and half lust. Rey heart was shattered into millions of pieces as he heard these words because in a sense they confirmed what was already plaguing his mind.

'Yes, you are a whore' his own voice echoed from the depths of his mind

"But no love… it's not that easy. Not for you… Easy it was for your dear Adam, because he died fast. For you… I can go the extra mile. And this time, I'll finish what I'll start."

Henry still held the hand with the broken fingers close to his chest while the other brought the knife close to his neck and slowly cut him just enough to bleed. The blade stopped under his chin skillfully avoiding his throat. Rey thought there was no point in asking him to have mercy on him or hurry up… he knew that this was going to be long and painful.

If this was indeed the end how he would have loved to make it be such an end as to be worthy of remembrance! How he would have loved to fight them, resist! But how much he hated himself because he was so helpless and so utterly weak; Anderson's hold was so strong and his arms were already numb behind his back. The knee on his back was sending tremendous waves of pain directly to his spine. The cut on his neck didn't hurt as much but it was a promise of grim deeds to come. Henry's words had really been the ones to hurt him most. They had single-handedly taken away all desire to fight.

The blade reminded him its presence once more when he felt its cold kiss against his flesh. Its sharp edge traveled from his chin and came to stop at the base of his neck between his left trapezoid and the collarbone.

With one single fluid thrust the blade tore skin and muscle. Rey's cries echoed in the room as he felt the knife dive deep into his flesh. Henry's eyes shone brighter upon hearing the screams of pain he was causing. He fisted the knife to get a better hold and licked his lips before twisting it around the wound to worsen the damage.

Rey's screams died down not able to hold back the pain. It hurt so much that all his strength had to be used just to focus on staying awake. His voice was lost as the knife twisted in his wound and the blood started to flow down his chest, hot almost boiled. He didn't keep his eyes open. He didn't want to look at Henry and see how much he enjoyed this. He would despair more and that would give him more pleasure. Instead he kept his eyes closed and tried to remember happier times; memories of Adam, laughing, smiling at him and looking with his big gorgeous eyes directly into his soul. He could almost feel it again.

'How weird' he thought

He thought he heard someone scream again and he had to try really hard to figure that it was his own voice that was yelling and spitting blood and saliva. The blade had been removed from his shoulder and was stabbing him between his ribs.

Once…

Twice…

Thrice…

The fourth time Rey felt his breath escape him. He tried to inhale but couldn't; it felt like drowning and he realized that in Henry's fury, he had struck his lung.

His eyes shot open in surprise when he sensed Henry's lips again on him. This time he wasn't kissing Rey's lips. Instead he had leaned and was licking the wound on his neck, tasting the blood that still flowed like wild rivers.

When Henry removed the knife from his ribs, it felt like he was removing his intestines too. His breath still eluded him though like a distant and long forgotten memory. He opened his mouth to speak, plead and beg but to his dismay nothing came out; only a gurgling noise and blood as it was overflowing his lungs like a tide. He wondered how much more he could take before he passed out or died.

Anderson's hold loosened but by then it was too late. As soon as his hands released him, Rey had no strength left. He fell back on the floor with a soft thumping sound and a moan.

Two hands grabbed him and flipped him over to his chest.

Memories of his past came back again. Smells of grass and wet soil, of flowers and early morning moisture danced in his head and he remembered once hearing a child's laughter.

The hands were again in his fumbling with his clothes. Rey moaned but that was all he could do. Already the blood he had lost had formed a pond around him.

"He's not dead yet" he heard a voice above him. By that time he couldn't tell who it was and it didn't matter.

"He will be soon"

The knife caught the light; wherever it was coming from, Rey didn't know. For him the room was bathed in complete darkness. But then where did it come from? It reflected on the blade and when it came down to strike again it fell upon Rey's eyes like the brightest ray of sun reminding him of his childhood and the bright midday sun of Mexico that used to blissfully blind him. He remembered of his uncle's laughter and his own as he used to grab him and toss him in the air when he was a child.

But then everything took the shade of darkness and shadow again. The knife fell like a huge boulder against his back. It tore muscles, nerves, skin and bone. Rey lost count of the times it stroke. With each stab, life seemed to slip away. It hurt everywhere and for the fist time he did something he hadn't done in a while.

He prayed.

He prayed to God for forgiveness and deliverance.

Then he went numb and his brain stopped registering pain. His body shook violently with every stabbing. His ears could still hear the sound of the knife cutting him and the splashing sound of flesh and blood. His eyes opened and his gaze fell on the bed.

There he saw it.

Lying on the bed, against the white sheets was a silver cross. Not the twisted one around his neck, but another simpler one; the one he had given to Eddie; the one that had helped Eddie fight his addiction and his dreaded car accident; the one Eddie had given back to Rey sometime before his death.

Next to the cross, on the bed stand, was an old photograph of Adam and him. It had been taken one morning while they were spending a weekend in Canada with Benoit and Christian. The snow had covered everything and Rey had been ecstatic about it. He always loved the snow. Rey had climbed on Adam's back making him his personal ride across the snow. Adam hadn't mind becoming a donkey for his love. He only had to hear him laugh and look into Rey's shining eyes and his wish was a command. Rey remembered that after a couple of steps into the snow, Adam had lost his footing and they had fallen face down. In the photo Adam and Rey were laying on the ground covered in snow laughing like two five year old kids.

Then his vision blurred and reality came back with its cruel face. Memories faded into nothingness and Rey could hear again Henry's breath and snicker; he could feel the knife and when the knife was abandoned, Rey could feel hands manhandling him.

'So this is how it ends?' he asked himself.

He thought of nothing else.

Bright light shone and the room lost all trace of darkness and shadow; wood broke; voices and screams; footsteps and metallic sounds; gunfire; someone falling hard against the wall; loud noises; too loud maybe for Rey; more screaming.

Someone stepped on Rey; Another gunfire and then nothing.

A few seconds later a body fell.

Rey opened his eyes dreadfully. His vision was blurry and couldn't make out who it was. He blinked a couple of times and strained to see clearly.

The photograph on the bed stand had fallen on the floor and was now smudged with Rey's blood.

But there…

On the bed was the dead bloodied body of Henry with a single gun shot to back of the head.

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	14. Chapter 13 thE oThER sIdE

**Chapter 13- thE oThER sIdE**

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Voices, a thousand, thousand voices  
Whispering, the time has passed for choices  
Golden days are passing over

I can't seem to see you baby  
Although my eyes are open wide  
But I know I'll see you once more  
When I see you, I'll see you on the other side  
Yes, I'll see you, I'll see you on the other side

Leaving, I hate to see you cry  
Grieving, I hate to say goodbye  
Dust and ash forever

Though I know we must be parted  
As sure as stars are in the sky  
I'm gonna see when it comes to glory  
And I'll see you, I'll see you on the other side  
Yes I'll see you, I'll see you on the other side

Never thought I'd feel like this  
Strange to be alone  
But we'll be together  
Carved in stone, carved in stone, carved in stone

Hold me, hold me tight, I'm falling  
Far away. Distant voices calling  
I'm so cold. I need you darling

I was down, but now I'm flying  
Straight across the great divide  
I know you're crying, but I'll stop you crying  
When I see you, I see you on the other side  
Yes I'll see you; see you on the other side  
I'm gonna see you; see you on the other side  
God knows I'll see you, see you on the other side.

**Ozzy Osbourne–See you on the other side (taken from his CD OZZMOSIS)**

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The light was brighter than the midday rays of the sun. The utter darkness had vanished with the blink of an eye and with it, all despair, fear and hopelessness. How strange it was no to fear! He had almost forgotten that feeling. Now that it was gone, he felt a strangle bliss; a big weight had been finally lifted from his soul.

He tried to hold onto that feeling for as long as he could.

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Time always seemed to stand still when it came to bad news and he never understood why. The first time he had experienced that, he was eight years old when his grandfather had passed away. It always gave him the feeling of a thick black veil clouding his senses, rendering him blind and incapable of reacting to anything and anyone.

And he hated that because all his life he was struggling to become a better man, a fighter. He had sworn never to feel so helpless again.

How idiotically wrong he had been.

But none of this mattered at this point. Dave would have gladly traded everything he had accomplished in his life just to change this moment; take it back. He couldn't recall ever being so stunned, so speechless and so completely…

Afraid.

The door had fallen open easily enough under Mark's and Dave's strength and although it must have made a loud breaking racket, all Dave could hear was distant shouting and his blood thumping in his ears.

But then the moment came when time stopped. Dave's skin crawled and he thought he screamed Rey's birth name.

He blinked twice upon the sounds of gunfire, but remained still, looking at the horrific sight, suddenly loosing his voice and his strength.

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Mark had been in dangerous situations before; cases where more than one life was on stake; there had been times where the fate of the world rested upon his shoulders and his skills. He had the ability to detach himself from the victims he was trying to save.

Tonight, he didn't want to though. Tonight, he had decided to make it personal. He hadn't told anybody, but since Rey's exorcism, something had changed inside Mark. He found he could not easily distance himself from him; a bizarre bond had been forged that night; a thin, fragile thread that always connected him to Rey's mind whether he wished to or not. The thread sometimes would vibrate making haunting hauling sounds… Mark always believed those sounds to be the remains of Asmodai, but soon he had been able to realize it was Rey's sanity, slowly tumbling. Sometimes he managed to silence the noise in his head, quiet it and get some peace of mind…

But when Adam had died, Mark had known because the sounds had suddenly risen from whispers to terrifying screams.

He hadn't been scared in his life many times. He wasn't stupid enough to be fearless. He knew that fear sometimes had helped him survive, fight and keep his faith when all else failed.

It was a few moments before entering the hotel room that fear returned to him.

The noise, the voices and the screams in his head had stopped.

All of a sudden, the delicate thread that connected him to Rey had been cut.

And then he knew.

His palms became fists and bit his tongue not to scream. In front of him detective Scott had drawn his weapon and was unloading the bullets mercilessly on the two monsters inside the room.

Next to him, Batista's face had become ashen.

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'So much light' Rey thought.

Coldness left his body as the light warmed him like in the summer time. He didn't feel any more pain and he found it strange that in this time he could feel happy again.

Blood was flowing from his wounds like waves that travel for miles only to crash on sandy beaches. But he didn't hurt. Not any more.

His mouth flooded with the blood that kept surfacing no matter how many times he could swallow it down. He didn't want it inside anymore anyway. It made him sick.

A nasty cough surfaced and he let it spill from his mouth.

Dave had to try really hard to overcome the fear and numbness that nested in him. Reluctantly he took one step forward. That first step was the hardest he had to do.

Detective Scott tried to stop him, but Dave only had to look at him once and he understood. No matter how hard Scott would try, there was no chance in stopping him. His eyes mirrored the torrent that was raging in his heart. Dave was a mass of nerves, muscle and fear. But what made him unstoppable was his love. And it didn't take a scientist to figure it out.

Reluctantly he let Dave inside.

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Mark stood by the broken door, leaning against the frame, his hope gone. He could do nothing more but look and accept the fate of the dying. Throughout his entire eventful life he had saved so many people from great enemies and dangers, but here he was once more… in this lifetime, for the second time still unable to save the one that mattered to him; the one that made a difference for him. And he wanted to cry so badly. His legs had no more strength to support his weight. He felt exhausted. He sunk down on the floor and there, on his knees he let his tears run silently.

"We are too late" his low raspy voice stated the obvious.

Dave refused to hear those words. They can't be too late. Can they?

He came close to Rey's fallen body. Gently he knelt down next to him. He wanted to touch him, hold him, comfort him; take away his pain, his suffering; but there was so much blood; everywhere. His face twisted in sorrow and he cried freely, unashamed to show his broken heart.

And Rey was on the floor, breathing asthmatically from his stabbed chest, his eyes never registering the presence of the three men in the room that had come to save him. Instead his gaze still fell on the dirtied photograph; on Adam's eyes; the one he had missed so much and longed to see once more.

Dave gently caressed his face, wiping away the blood and sweat that covered it, his own vision blurring dangerously from welling tears. He picked up his head and brought it to his embrace, cradling him like the treasure he was.

"We are not too late Mark" Dave spoke never breaking his eye contact with Rey. His chest convulsed from the sobs.

He stayed on the floor holding this precious creature in his arms, refusing to believe this was true. Anderson was dead by a single gunshot wound to the heart, his large heavy body lying against a bloodied wall across the room.

No one ever figured out his reasons behind his actions.

Perhaps there were no reasons at all.

Henry was also dead.

Dead at last!

His body lay on the bed sheets, his forehead pierced by Scott's bullet and his eyes wide open, capturing his dying thought…

And that was hate.

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The light didn't seem to fade. Instead it grew and changed from silver blue to a shade of bright yellow… almost golden. It didn't hurt his eyes anymore. He found it strange that he could look straight at it and not wince from its brightness.

His body felt so warm and so light. He smiled as he heard familiar steps approaching. He never thought he would hear them again… not in this lifetime at least and certainly not so soon.

He wasn't surprised at all when the light was momentarily covered by his lean form…

In the distance, but not that far away, not any more, he stood smiling like he hadn't seen him in a while. His heart skipped a beat from joy. He had tears in his eyes but they shone brightly with so much love and tranquility.

But then again, Rey was crying too. And although he knew exactly what this meant, he couldn't stop feeling happy, serene and complete.

"You came" he whispered to him. His mouth was dry, his blood had been drained and yet he felt so alive.

He came close to Rey and knelt beside him. He offered him his hand, his smile never faltering.

"I came for you my love… take my hand…"

Adam's voice was as he remembered it; loving, teasing, adventurous and inviting. Rey held out his hand and took Adam's. He was warm, like the light and Rey believed that Adam was the light. They both stood up and locked eyes; each man loosing his soul into the other's gaze.

"It's time to go" Adam spoke looking deeply into Rey's eyes.

"Take me home" Rey pleaded and fell into Adam's firm embrace, holding him for dear life. His soul and his entire existence felt complete happiness; as if everything that had happened in his life, everything converged to this single moment; this moment where finally they could become one heart, one spirit, one soul…

One love.

They held each other for a while; a while that seemed like an eternity.

But then again that's all they had.

An eternity to love.

Rey walked away towards the warmth and the light, never fearing, never faltering; he had Adam's hand in his, and that was all he had ever wished.

They left the room never looking back.

They didn't see detective Scott speaking frantically on the phone.

They didn't see Mark covering his mouth, trying to keep his calm; forcing himself not to scream.

They didn't see Dave holding Rey's dead body; they didn't hear him pleading in vein, trying to keep Rey alive;

They didn't see him shed sorrowful tears while squeezing Rey tightly against his chest.

It was over.

At last…


	15. Chapter 14 AniMA solA

**Chapter 14 – AniMA solA**

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Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,  
Tears from the depth of some divine despair  
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,  
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,  
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,  
That brings our friends up from the underworld,  
Sad as the last which reddens over one  
That sinks with all we love below the verge;  
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns  
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds  
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes  
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;  
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,  
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned  
On lips that are for others; deep as love,  
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;  
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

**Lord Alfred Tennyson - Tears, Idle Tears**

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What if he could go back in time? What if he was given one chance, just one, to go back and change something in the past? What would he change? In what moment had things started to go wrong?

Had he done something wrong?

In what time had their destiny taken a turn towards the worst? Was there something he could have done to stop it? Was he to blame? If he hadn't slept with him, would he still be dead? Or would he be alive?

And in the midst of all the questions entangling his mind, sorrow didn't seem willing to give him some peace of mind.

So there… now he knew what it felt like. He felt what it was like to loose someone close to heart.

It felt like dying… a numbing sense of constant falling; an endless adrenaline rush rotting the soul; a river or tears welling in the eyes; a waterfall of sobs that no matter what he did, they just kept coming.

'Why?'

He couldn't find an answer. Nothing.

He had been killed… but had he really been killed? If Henry hadn't gotten to him, would Rey have taken his own life? If Henry wasn't there would Rey have the guts to take a knife and slit his throat? Did he resist his killer or did he just give up?

Dave liked to think that he had put up a fight. In truth, he felt that Rey wanted to stand and fight, but the memories and the pain were just too great to overcome. Maybe in another time and another place, Rey Rey would have found the strength…

But that night was not one of those times or places.

A tear welled up in his eye and started running down his cheek. He rushed to wipe it away… still… he regretted doing so the moment his fingers touched the salty tear. He was almost ashamed of doing it.

He stood alone, a little further away from the others as the first sun rays announced the coming of a new day. Dave wasn't afraid of looking the sun. The first rays were so red they gave the sky an unnatural colour. As they fell on the snow, shadow and darkness stretched and slowly began to disappear. The snow covered the land as far as the eye could see; thick layers of soft snow joined with the sudden intense warmth and the land began to steam… like vapours of water… it felt unreal.

Maybe it was.

The steams formed slowly a cold morning mist that spread in the graveyard taking away all the beauty it might have held this morning.

But there was no beauty any longer for anyone in this place… living or dead.

His mind kept drifting back to that night.

He could still feel him.

In his memory his scent was so vivid he could almost still smell it. His hands, his palms, the ones that had held him in his last moment, they carried his warmth. His fingers still remembered the skin they had touched not so long ago; even if they had done so for a little while.

He prayed he would never forget that moment.

In the distance people were starting to disperse. The ceremony was over and people were done saying their goodbyes.

A few remained though.

Benoit still stood above Rey's grave crushed. Unashamed to hide his tears, Chris was sobbing freely barely hanging on. Dean Malenko was by his side, holding him like a true brother. Both men seemed unwilling to move from their spot.

Dave thought how hard it must be for him. Within a year he had lost Eddie, Adam and now Oscar. When Chris let Dean's embrace he turned one last time to look at Rey's tomb. He knelt down and still crying muttered.

"I will always love you my brother… keep Eddie and Adam out of trouble yeah? Especially Eddie… I will see you again someday… I promise" Chris laughed and cried at the same time.

He was helped to his feet. Just before he left he turned and looked at Dave. It pained him so much to see how much the big man suffered. But that's the thing about death. The loved ones left behind are the ones who bear the weight of the dead.

"It is strange that some much pain can bring so much love"

Dave wasn't really startled to hear Mark Callaway's voice. He was surprised to find out that Mark could actually lower his voice to an almost non detectable whisper.

"I never understood how they did manage to love each other through all the demons and ghosts always haunting them" Dave spoke. He was trying to keep his voice steady but he was doing a bad job at it. It cracked and he choked a sob.

"They are both gone now" Batista kept speaking "and although I know I should feel anger and sorrow, I can't help but feel happiness too. Does it make any sense to you?"

Mark smiled and looked towards the sun. It blinded him as the rays had lost their reddish colour and shed their golden ones on the earth chasing away the mist. And although Mark was a true creature of the night, there were times he loved daylight.

Like today.

"True love rarely makes any sense" he answered.

"I did love him you know" Dave assured and Mark only nodded his head accepting these words.

"It is how it should be… they are finally united… they are finally free… they are one at last" Mark's voice rose to something more that a whisper and his bass rough voice chilled Dave to the bone.

Dave didn't wipe away his tears this time. The hot tears burned his cold skin and he had to ask…

"How do you now?"

Mark turned and looked at Dave. He too had been crying.

"Because even in their death… I can see them"

He said nothing more. He stepped away and went close to the grave. He took out one white rose and placed it upon the soft earth. He sent a kiss towards the tomb and left.

Dave was left alone; his trembling body carried him close to the grave. He didn't want to do this. But he was doing it.

Saying goodbye…

The snow was unsettled where Benoit had knelt, in complete contrast to the virgin snow surrounding the rest of the graveyard. Dave sat down next to the tomb ignoring the cold.

Oscar always said how much he liked the snow. This made Dave smile.

He sat like this for hours it seemed, unwilling to leave.

'Mourning is for the living' his grandfather had told him when he was a little boy. 'It's a way for us who are left behind to put our soul at peace… a way to ease the pain of separation. But the day will come when we'll be united with them again. So don't spend too much time mourning… they wouldn't want us to feel sad, wouldn't they?'

Dave's smile grew coming in complete contrast to his sorrowful eyes.

He looked at the tombstone. The dark black marble had an engraving.

I hold it true, whatever befall;  
I feel it, when I sorrow most;  
It is better to have loved and lost  
Than never to have loved at all. (1)

ADAM – OSCAR… TOGETHER FREE

"Be at peace at last" he whispered to the wind. "I loved you more that you'll ever know but that wasn't enough. Your love for Adam ran deeper and completely… I guess your soul was one… like you heart and you love… you really couldn't live without him could you? It's alright you know… I love you for it"

Dave rose to his feet. He took one deep breath. His tears had stopped, but not his sorrow. He doubted it would ever go away completely. He took out a photograph from his pocket. It was the photo from Rey's nightstand; the one with Adam and Rey on the snow. Gently he put it next Mark's white rose.

He looked around him. Snow was beginning to fall once more. Soon it would cover again all trace of their footsteps. It would cover the tombstone too. But it was fine.

Oscar always loved the snow.

**THE END**

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Alfred Tennyson – 1850

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So this is the end.

I feel sad seeing it come to an end and I really don't want to let it go. Closing this long trilogy was a hard thing to do and in every step of the way many things and aspects of the story changed. Deciding to kill Adam and Rey (in the end) was probably the hardest decision I ever had to make (from an author's point of view). It got to the point where it was starting to consume me and part of my soul, and there were many times I felt it had emotionally drained me.

But in reality this story has helped me in many ways review myself, my choices, my life, even sometimes exorcise some of my own demons and find some inner balance.

I want to thank those who reviewed my chapters, especially mysteriobatistaDXfanatix, Gollumfryingeggs, Souless666, johncena'sis and of course all those who read my stories, truly supporting me and giving me strength to carry on. I really appreciate it.

I will see you soon again.

Until then…

Peace


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